Page 2 of 3
Sunday
December 6
Naughty Is Nice, Faux Is Fabulous Reasoning that holiday shopping is more fun (or at least bearable) with a bottle in hand, the Christmas-hating organizers of Naughty Santa's Bizarre Bazaar are inviting empathetic souls to their crafts fair and performance debauch. Local artists have made the crafty gifts; many are priced under $10 and all are guaranteed macrame-free. Shoppers bring their own beverages and have their holiday pictures taken with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. By the end of the night, expect to find drunken Santas facing off in a poetry slam and knocking over tiki gifts in Otto's Island, as the all-Santa Slayer cover band Sleigher wails away in the background. The fair begins at 3 p.m. at Somar Gallery, 934 Brannan (at Ninth Street), S.F. Admission is $3, free to people in Santa suits; call 826-3277. Smart shoppers can hit the bazaar and still have time left for the third annual Faux-Fur Fashion Show, a benefit for Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS). Window dresser Jeff Weeks travels cross-country during the year to collect faux fur jackets in all sizes and styles, then auctions them off along with other fake-fur-covered items for PAWS, which helps people with AIDS care for their pets. At last year's show, Weeks' Jack Russell terrier, Henry, reportedly jumped up on the catwalk and stole the show from some rather annoyed models; unfortunately, Henry passed on this year, so this show is dedicated to him. The no-host bar opens at 7 p.m., followed by music from DJ Kat, the fashion show, and the bidding at El Rio, 3158 Mission (at Cesar Chavez), S.F. Admission is $6; call 241-1460. For more information on holiday happenings, see the Holiday Guide on Pages 30-33.
Like We Said Before, Faux Is Fabulous Boys aren't the only ones who yearn for the kind of over-the-top, Yber-woman glamour that sequins, fake lashes, big hair, feather boas, and very high heels can provide. The Faux Queen Pageant, a benefit for Women Organized to Respond to Life-Threatening Diseases, is for "drag queens trapped in real women's bodies": In other words, girls dress like boys dressed like girls, supervised by drag mothers who oversee the strategic placement of padding and the adjustment of wigs. Contestants do a lip-sync number and field the usual questions about world peace, and viewers can influence judges by tipping their favorite queens. Not that these judges are susceptible to easy influence: The panel includes SF Weekly Night Crawler columnist Silke Tudor, whose reputation as a gay man precedes her. The show begins at 9 p.m. at 715 Harrison (at Third Street), S.F. Admission is $5-25; call 331-1500.
Monsters of Rock The old Cramps song "What's Behind the Mask?" is a fair question for the masked musical trio Famous Monsters, whose true identities are shielded by disguises and pseudonyms. In the case of the band's lead guitarist, billed as Devil Doll, the answer is: White Zombie bassist Sean Yseult. With rhythm guitarist Vampire Girl and drummer She-Zilla, Yseult stomps through surf music territory in very Cramps-like fashion, invoking primitive B-movie creatures (and soundtracks) with a go-go backbeat and shimmering reverb in deliciously campy numbers like "Destroy Puny Earthlings" and "Oui Monster Oui." The band -- which bounced from an Estrus catalog that included surf contemporaries Satan's Pilgrims to Bong Load Records -- opens for more hotshot women in rock: Stone Fox, the one-time Runaways parody band who regroup for a Monsters tour after a hiatus induced by singer Jorjee Douglas' self-imposed exile in L.A. Me First & the Gimme Gimmes start off the show at 9 p.m. at Bottom of the Hill, 1233 17th St. (at Texas), S.F. Admission is $7; call 621-4455.
Monday
December 7
Mission: Possible What began as a protracted debate between Intersection for the Arts Executive Director Deborah Cullinan and Richard Marquez, of the housing and homeless advocacy group Mission Agenda, evolved into On a Mission. This original play, about life at the corner of 16th and Mission streets, was written and will be performed by the On a Mission Ensemble, whose members really do live on the streets and in the SRO hotels along that corridor. The behind-the-scenes story started when Marquez's group protested the Mission Crawl, a neighborhood gallery and theater walk that included Intersection; after that confrontation, Marquez and Cullinan began to exchange ideas about what the Mission theater scene could, and should, do. The ensemble they put together from people Marquez regularly worked with spent the next seven months sharing stories, swapping theories and ideas, and developing a narrative about poverty, aided by S.F. Mime Troupe co-writer Kate Chumley. At the center of the drama is the real-life love story between Juan Pedro Rivas and his girlfriend, Duran Ruiz, threaded with the tales from the rest of the ensemble. The show opens at 8 p.m. (and repeats Dec. 9 and 12) at Intersection for the Arts, 446 Valencia (at 15th Street), S.F. Admission is free-$14; call 626-3311.
Tuesday
December 8
Take the Money and Run "Runnin' around robbin' banks all wacked on the Scooby snacks" is the line that put Fun Lovin' Criminals on the map. The coolly catchy hip-hopping anthem about a drug-induced robbery, on their debut album Come Find Yourself, was a turning point for the New York band, which evolved from a goof project at the Limelight into a full-blown EMI recording act. Like that effort, the follow-up album 100% Colombian layers the beats and samples of electronic technology with more smoky drug references and jazz riffage done with actual guitars, harmonica, and trumpet. (For the record, not everyone wanted to be sampled: Deep Purple's Richie Blackmore turned the band down cold, claiming that they were playing the devil's music.) Colombian's key cut: "Barry White," a smooth, sly tribute to the walrus of love ("Barry White saved my life/ And if Barry White saved your life or got you back with your ex-wife, sing Barry White"). The Fun Lovin' Criminals play at 8 p.m. at Bimbo's 365 Club, 1025 Columbus (at Chestnut), S.F. Admission is $11-12; call 474-0365.
