How can one possibly make boobs more awesome? Tassels, of course — first the left one, then the right! Mother of God, now they're going in opposite directions! My Eyes Are Up Here: Tassel Twirling with Balla Fire, a workshop from Red Hots Burlesque's School of Shimmy, unveils the art of nipple calisthenics for absolutely anybody with a chest. Disrupt the tassel paradigm and try attaching them to your shoulder, elbow, face, or even butt (the technical term for those is "ASS-els," according to the shimmy specialists). Nobody knows bumping and grinding like Red Hots Burlesque, and it's no hassle for them to lend you a tassel for the lesson — unless you want to BYOT.
The tassels and assels fly from noon-2 p.m., Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St. S.F. $30; redhotsburlesque.com.
415-902-2071
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