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List: What the Entertainment Commission Will Recommend for City's Nightclubs 

Wednesday, Apr 20 2011

After a series of violent incidents last year, the city's Entertainment Commission is considering strict new rules to enforce security at San Francisco nightclubs. What are the proposed rules?

• Photo IDs will need to be 20 percent more convincing

• Each club must prominently post proof that it is protected by a mob family

• "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" rule

• Club patrons should be heavily armed so no one will mess with them

• Customers will have to remove shoes before entering the club

• Get rid of video surveillance cameras: they only attract reality TV contestants

• Everyone must swear to abide by the honor code

About The Author

Benjamin Wachs


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