Last week, San Francisco's labor leaders released their plan to reduce the pension costs of city workers. This is a highly controversial issue: What do the unions propose?
• That they be given time and a half for the hours spent developing this plan
• The city's pension debt must be calculated by union mathematicians
• Once their annual pensions exceed $200,000, city employees forfeit the right to be called "heroes"
• To encourage pension contributions from drivers, Muni will institute a swear jar policy
• The police union knows a guy who can cover their pension, no problem. We'll just owe him a favor, is all
• San Francisco can reduce pensions by 15 percent in exchange for the city's naming rights going to the SEIU
• Sean Elsbernd will be equipped with a magic sword and sent into the desert to find a dwarf who can spin debt into gold
• The last entry is kind of hard to read, actually ... it just sort of scrawls off into a digression about what'll happen to Jeff Adachi's family
