There's a table by the entrance to the Pilsner Inn saying that it's offering unlimited drinks from four beers on tap for $10, with the proceeds going to support AIDS research.
They're prosaic beers (I stuck with the Boont Amber Ale all night), and these four don't seem like nearly enough selection given that Pilsner has over 30 beers on tap. But can I really say no to supporting AIDS research at an important San Francisco gay bar?
No, I cannot. I pay up.
"They have a lot of good drink specials here," Paul says as we each put in a ten and make our orders.
Although nearby Hi Tops made a big splash when it opened in 2013, the much quieter Pilsner Inn is San Francisco's oldest gay bar that's also largely a sports bar, and has been owned by the same person since 1980.
When Paul first came out, he knew nothing about the gay bar scene, but a boy he was dating said Pilsner would be a good fit for him.
Paul isn't a sports guy, but Pilsner doesn't really feel like a "sports bar." Sure, it shows the games, but nobody seems to take sports culture very seriously. Which isn't to say the bar itself doesn't — Pilsner sponsors an almost absurd number of local gay community teams — but it doesn't seem to. Perhaps it behooves a gay sports bar not to take "sports," the font of so much truly vicious homophobia, at face value? Or is it because Hi Tops pulled away Pilsner's fanatical gay sports fans? I have no idea.
Regardless, Paul's boyfriend at the time — I don't ask what happened to him, and he doesn't tell — was right, and Paul's been coming back for 14 years.
The Pilsner is spacious: Its main room is long and wide with a gorgeous long wooden bar, a pool table, two pinball games, and plenty of standing room. Plus it's ... clean ... in a way that I do not associate with sports bars. Another gay thing? I'm curious enough to ask Paul about it, and he says he's never noticed before, but suddenly sees what I mean.
There's a gorgeous back patio — also with plenty of space and communal seating — that has hanging plants and a mosaic of the sun on the floor. Plus, you can smoke there. Ah God, smoking cigarettes in bars; I miss that so much. Pilsner manages to perfectly combine "lovely" and "laid back," which means that this is the kind of place that, until it gets hopping, you're happy just to sit and breathe. (If you don't mind the smoke.)
Coming out was obviously a big deal to Paul, but politics has always been the great constant in his life. He organized vote drives at college and has been active in politics ever since. When I met him years ago, it was the air he breathed and everything in his life related to it.
But over the last year, he's been leaving it at the office. It's important work, but it can't be all-consuming — he wants something it can't offer. He's been taking classes in musical theater and auditioning for plays. He's been getting cast. He loves it.
I tell him about one of my favorite lines from Doctor Zhivago: When Zhivago is asked whether he supports the ideals of the Russian Revolution, he says "Yes, absolutely." Then he's asked why, if he supports the revolution, does he insist on wasting his time being a poet?
"The revolution is important work," he says. "You're surgeons, removing a lethal tumor. But," he adds, "someone has to keep the patient alive."
Paul nods. "That's it," he says. "That's exactly it."
I go a step further: While apathy is the scourge of good government, the ability to not care about politics is the hallmark of a free society. It is only in totalitarian systems that the personal is truly political, and the political implications of every aspect of life must be considered. "The personal is political" is a fact, but it's not an ideal.
"Back before the internet," Paul tells me, "the gay bars were the hubs of the gay social network. They still are, kinda, but obviously it's not the same."
The internet exists, and so gay bars do not need to carry the same kind of responsibility. They can choose to be just bars. Imagine that: a gay bar that isn't any kind of statement. A place where you can have a drink, laugh at a joke, and put the politics down.
Is that the dream? I don't know. But it's increasingly an option, and at Pilsner it feels good.
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