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"Do you feel competition with the other Ozzy impersonators?" I ask.
"No," snaps unauthorized Ozzy. "Only with the real Ozzy, because we're searching for the same band members!" He then adds: "You got to support the other Ozzy impersonators. I've driven two out of town so far. One guy came to see my show, and he left on the Greyhound the very next day. I was so real he couldn't even deal with it."
The convention comes to a head with the wedding of an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator to a Shania Twain impersonator. The two, who met at last year's convention, decided to tie the knot with an extravaganza that attracts almost as many paparazzi as would the real stars.
"Have you had any celebrity weddings here?" I ask the woman at the wedding chapel.
"No," she answers. "But VH1 had a ceremony here where two dogs married each other. The two owners exchanged collars."
The wedding begins. A George Bush impersonator comes in with Laura. (She entertained us earlier with a confusing, pro-war rap called "Thank God George Is the President!") He looks so much like Bush it makes me laugh. (He says he actually met the real George W., who supposedly asked an aide afterward, "Did you all get a look at that guy?!")
Then enters Arrrrrrrrnold, now clad in a tux, followed by the lovely Shania Twain. Numerous photographers dance around as flashes flash and shutters click.
"This is truly a time you both will never forget," intones the man conducting the ceremony. "You'll look back and say, 'Do you remember our wedding day in Las Vegas?'"
After an exchange of wedding rings come the tears. Laura Bush is crying. So is Whoopi Goldberg. They are not impersonating their emotions; these are real, actual tears.
"What a special day," quips a cynical Discovery Channel cameraman.
As far as I'm concerned, though, it was by far the nicest celebrity impersonator wedding I've ever been to.
