I am an emerging artist, and when people buy my work, I would like to send a personal note saying thank you in a card along with the documentation. But I don't want it to sound like "without your purchase I would be out on the street," and I don't want them to feel that I needed to make the sale (which is usually true) or that I "hope" they enjoy the painting. Any suggestions? Thank you in advance.
Sincerely,
S.F. Emerging Artist
Dear Emerging Madam or Sir,
I understand your reluctance to put yourself in a subservient position, although I wonder whether you're being a bit too literal with your concerns about the wording of your letter. Besides, gratitude is supposed to have at least a touch of humility. You could simply write "Thank you" and sign your name; the minimalist elegance of that line would likely suit your needs. If you don't want to seem to need support -- though the fiscal relationship between artist and patron is a noble and time-honored one -- you could thank the buyer for "supporting local artists" or "supporting the visual arts" in general.
I'm guessing that "I hope you enjoy the painting" sounds, to you, too self-effacing; I must disagree with that assessment. I mean, I hope readers enjoy my column, and I'm not ashamed to say so. But here's a compromise: Something along the lines of "This painting is important to me, and I'm glad it has found a home with someone who appreciates it" has the benefit of flattering both your work and the buyer.
Dear Social Grace,
I was just reading your last two columns and I have to point this out because it bugs me when I see it -- "Ms" is not an abbreviation, so there is no period. It was created for single or married women to have a way to refer to themselves that would not scream, "I'm the property of another." (Which is what marriage started out as.)
Sincerely,
Ms L.
Dear Ms L.,
Most of the usage guides that discuss this issue encourage the use of a period, for clarity's sake and parallelism; some note that "Ms." is, in fact, an abbreviation: It's simply a new form of "Mistress" (both "Mrs." and "Miss" are also descended from this rather outdated title). I must tell you that the period is widely accepted, and we may have a hard time even getting your preferred title past our proofreaders. To me, it looks like a typo.
You are correct that as more and more women entered the business world in the mid-20th century, many were dissatisfied with a naming etiquette that differentiated between married and unmarried females (especially as men are not thus identified). According to my trusty copy of The Handbook of Nonsexist Writing (which also prefers "Ms." with a period), the term was mentioned in secretarial manuals as early as the 1940s, suggested for use when a woman's marital status was unknown. This is pretty much how it is used today.
In correspondence with someone who has not made another preference known (by writing it in parentheses after her signature, for example), "Ms." is correctly employed with a woman's name. It should never be used with a husband's name, though "Mrs." can be, if that is a lady's preference.
Dear Social Grace,
I received the following e-mail (twice!) from a young woman I know professionally. It is an announcement of her upcoming birthday, and a notification about when she will be celebrating it at [a bar]. She "invites" others to join her there, and then gives a long list of gifts that she would like to receive. We work in the same field but at different companies, so if I got her e-mail, I think that she probably sent it to everyone in her address book. I'm forwarding this letter to you, because there's no doubt in my mind that this is just about the tackiest thing I've ever seen, but I'm wondering if, and how, it would be appropriate to tell this woman that she made a big mistake in sending this e-mail out. You can print her e-mail if you like, but the names should probably be changed.
Dear "Invited" Madam or Sir,
After exposure to this e-mail, several Social Grace letter screeners developed extremely upset stomachs and had to be sent home for the afternoon -- so I think it'd be best if we kept it to ourselves. It was a yucky message, indeed, but all you need to do now is delete it from your inbox and from your memory. It's not your place to instruct young acquaintances in etiquette (aside from teaching by example). Her close friends -- or perhaps her supervisors, if she is, in fact, sending her request for birthday presents to all her business contacts -- are in a better position to help her out. One (or more) of these folks is sure to do so.
