Get SF Weekly Newsletters
Pin It

How the Labor Day Bay Bridge closure affects people in the Bay Area 

Wednesday, Sep 2 2009

The Bay Bridge will be closed for repairs over the Labor Day weekend. How will this affect people in the Bay Area?

• It will make us all much more cynical about Labor Day.

• We'll use this special time to let the other members of our car pool know how much we hate them.

• For one weekend, San Franciscans will shop with their local drug dealers again.

• BART will experience significant delays, just to make bridge commuters feel at home.

• Treasure Island briefly becomes a nice place to live.

• Daly City feels all superior to Oakland because it don't need no stinking bridge.

• The Henderson family picnic is ruined. RUINED!

• Bridge-and-tunnelers suffer mass delusion and think they see visage of Emperor Norton on a piece of toast.

• Supervisor Chris Daly will have a good excuse not to leave Fairfield for one weekend.

• Locals returning from Burning Man have something else to complain about.

• San Francisco will secede from California. All hail Chairman Brugmann!

About The Author

Benjamin Wachs


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"