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Homeland Sinecurity 

A chat with the man who does nothing, all day long, for the Department of Homeland Security

Wednesday, Sep 1 2004

Page 3 of 3

"If I were made to go to the basic police academy again, like I did in 1970, that would be a waste of money," he says. "I've got 2,500 hours of formal training at the basic police academy, the federal law enforcement academy, special agent training. I've been certified for the laws of South Carolina, and the same thing in Georgia."

So he's applied for a waiver; he doesn't expect an answer on that score for a few months, though. Meanwhile, he tries to keep busy.

"Yesterday I must say I conditioned myself; I walked around quite a bit. Right now I've been sitting here reading. I'll go up to the law library. I kind of pride myself on my knowledge of the law. That's only professional, you know," he explains. "Also, I kind of hang around, you know, hang out. A lot of the time I just watch."

Do you hear that, Mr. Terrorist Bent on Attacking U.S. Government Facilities? The Department of Homeland Security is on the lookout for you.

About The Author

Matt Smith


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