Shoot, the mall is closed. Maybe the library? ... closed. Surely the post office is ... closed. What the hell is there to do after tearing open the presents?
Contemporary Jewish Museum
The CJM knows its audience, and that audience doesn't have a whole lot going on Christmas Day. The annual Community Day includes free admission, art activities for families, and musical performances by The Pop-Ups, a Grammy-nominated band that knows everything is better with puppets.
736 Mission St., 655-7800, thecjm.org
Gold Club
Forget any Bukowski-esque fantasies about wallowing in decrepitude. If it's Christmas Day and you are utterly alone, at least the Gold Club has nice ladies to talk to and beef sliders. Don't show up empty-handed, though: The dancers are working on Christmas Day, and not even a Grinch would be stingy with the $5 bills.
650 Howard St., 536-0300, goldclubsf.com
Kung Pao Kosher Comedy
Showcasing Jewish comedians at — where else? — a Chinese restaurant, Kung Pao Kosher Comedy has been a holiday tradition for 22 years. This year's headliner is Jeremy Hotz, who has appeared frequently on television and has also faced much prejudice for being Canadian.
Old Mandarin Islamic Restaurant
Chinese food on Christmas is a tradition for anyone whose faith isn't compatible with a big guy sliding down chimneys. Old Mandarin's Northern Chinese food is halal, and bubbling hot pot is a specialty. With grub like this, who needs fruitcake?
3132 Vicente St., 564-3481
Pier 39
Having anything open on Christmas Day is Pier 39's gift to San Francisco; otherwise, freezing tourists would stagger straight into the bay while scavenging for overpriced fleece sweaters. Most shops will be closed, but many restaurants are open, and of course sea lions do not recognize the ephemeral holidays of man.
San Francisco Zoo
The zoo is open 365 days a year, and despite the tragic death of 16-month-old gorilla Kabibe earlier this month, there are still plenty of baby animals to cure any lingering Christmas doldrums. Swing by the giraffes and red panda enclosures for maximum cuteness.
St. Mark's Lutheran Church
No, Christmas isn't Jesus' real birthday — those disciples never quite got around to jotting down J.C's b-day. But it's a perfect time to remember his lessons on love and compassion, and the LGBT-friendly St. Mark's Lutheran Church is just the place to drop in for worship (10 a.m.) or just some quiet reflection in the pews.
1111 O'Farrell St., 928-7770, stmarks-sf.org
Comments are closed.
