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"I could've been a contender," he says, pulling his silver-white cape into the car seat. As they pull out of the parking lot, he offers a wan smile and an elegant wave.
In the community center, the oompah band kicks up, the drunken beards embrace, and Ra$pa's dear friends from Beard-O lead the crowd in the universally beloved "chicken dance."
At the airport, in sequins, fishnets, and a majorette hat, Ra$pa tells the security guards, the ticket takers, the stewardesses, and his fellow passengers that he could have been a contender. They all agree. Someone asks him to do a magic trick for the children, and he happily complies, making up routines during the short flight home. Karl-Heinz Hille, 83-year-old Alf Jarrald of Manchester, England, and Dave Traver, take best of show and prepare to fly to Los Angeles to appear on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ra$pa arrives at the Mystery Ball as Zee Baron von Daisy. And everybody wins. Most of all me.
