How did the Bay Area celebrate the Warriors' NBA Championship win?
• We tried rioting in different neighborhoods this time.
• Built a Warriors themed app.
• Tweeted like we've never tweeted before.
• Were twice as sex-positive.
• Argued about Elon Musk's plan to make the NBA obsolete by using nanites.
• Burned a 60-foot wooden man holding a basketball.
• Used the occasion to raise awareness of social justice issues.
• Finally came out to our families.
• Wasted water.
• Broke down imagining how happy this has made all the bullies who tortured us in high school.
• Stopped talking about gentrification for, like, 10 minutes.
• Shrugged and said, "Eh. Sportsball."
Tags: Sucka Free City
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