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How Did the Bay Area Celebrate Another Sportsball Victory? 

Wednesday, Jun 24 2015

How did the Bay Area celebrate the Warriors' NBA Championship win?

• We tried rioting in different neighborhoods this time.

• Built a Warriors themed app.

• Tweeted like we've never tweeted before.

• Were twice as sex-positive.

• Argued about Elon Musk's plan to make the NBA obsolete by using nanites.

• Burned a 60-foot wooden man holding a basketball.

• Used the occasion to raise awareness of social justice issues.

• Finally came out to our families.

• Wasted water.

• Broke down imagining how happy this has made all the bullies who tortured us in high school.

• Stopped talking about gentrification for, like, 10 minutes.

• Shrugged and said, "Eh. Sportsball."

About The Author

Benjamin Wachs


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