“It’s the most fattening time of the year/With pumpkin pie filling and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer/It’s the most fattening time of the year!” At the “Christmas Crap-Array” by the Lesbian/Gay Chorus of San Francisco, those are the cleanest and most respectful lines of the evening; the rest of them will mix Hanukkah and the word “dong,” provoke Santa-humping, and rhapsodize on the great holiday tradition of secret toking. We hope horrible music teacher Miss Smith, played to the Jane Lynch hilt by choir director Stephanie Lynne Smith, is on the bill again this year. Because who doesn’t want to see children crying when they abruptly learn the truth about Santa Claus — the truth being that he’s taking valuable attention away from “the birth of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?” Top-notch singing, a warm-fuzzy ensemble feel, and enough snark to get you most of the way to January make the “Christmas Crap-Array” a very poorly named event.
Dec. 17-19, 8 p.m., 2009
