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Nature's Bounty: City Parks Ranked by Rankness 

Tuesday, Nov 18 2014
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Every year, the City Service Auditor compiles a list of how well our parks are being maintained. Or not maintained. It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

The checklist for each of 164 city parks is divided into 14 categories (lawns, doggie play areas, restrooms) which are, in turn, split into as many as seven subcategories (cleanliness, graffiti, odor). Parks are ranked in these areas by city district (District 2 scores highest overall; District 11 comes last), and individually.

Within the audit, individual park's scores in each of the many categories are not listed. But SF Weekly has been provided with a trove of raw data by the Recreation and Park Department. Oh bounteous joy!

If you're hoping for good news, there is this: Parks in all 11 districts are ranked as better maintained today than they were in 2005. Of course, that's cold comfort to whomever finds herself seated upon the city's foulest toilet.

Best dog play areas:

1. Buena Vista Park, 100 percent

2. Mountain Lake Park, 100 percent

3. St. Mary's Recreational Center, 100 percent

4. Lafayette Park, 94.6 percent

5. Upper Noe Recreation Center, 94.5 percent

Worst dog play areas:

1. Golden Gate Park Section 1, 69 percent

2. Lake Merced Park, 72.5 percent

3. Pine Lake Park, 73.4 percent

4. Alta Plaza, 74.5 percent

5. McKinley Square, 76.1 percent

Best-maintained trees:

90 tied at 100 percent

Worst-maintained trees:

1. Park Presidio Boulevard, 50 percent

2. Adam Rogers Park, 54.1 percent

3. Youngblood Coleman Playground, 66.7 percent

4. Buena Vista Park, 68.8 percent

5. Golden Gate Park Section 4, 70 percent

Cleanest restrooms:

Six-way tie (100 percent):

Cow Hollow Playground

Fulton Playground

Junipero Serra Playground

Miraloma Playground

Mission Playground

Parkside Square

Dirtiest restrooms:

1. Visitacion Valley Playground, 66.7 percent

2. Mission Dolores Park, 71.1 percent

3. Portsmouth Square, 76.5 percent

4. Alice Chalmers Playground, 78.1 percent

5. Excelsior Playground, 81.3 percent

Best-maintained parks:

1. Maritime Plaza, 100 percent

2. Fulton Playground, 99.8 percent

3. Alice Marble Tennis Courts, 99.7 percent

4. Richmond Recreation Center, 99.4 percent

5. Hyde/Vallejo Mini Park, 99.3 percent

6. Betty Ann Ong Chinese Recreation Center, 99.1 percent

7. Cayuga Playground, 98.5 percent

8. Page/Laguna Mini Park, 98.4 percent

9. 24th/York Mini Park, 98.2 percent

10. Prentiss Mini Park, 98.2 percent

Worst-maintained parks:

1. Visitacion Valley Playground, 68.1 percent

2. Park Presidio Blvd., 69.6 percent

3. Lessing/Sears Mini Park, 75.9 percent

4. Pine Lake Park, 76.0 percent

5. Chester/Palmetto, 77.1 percent

6. Gilman Playground, 78.1 percent

7. Portsmouth Square, 78.5 percent

8. Lower Great Highway, 81.3 percent

9. Bay View Playground, 81.7 percent

10. States Street Playground, 81.7 percent

About The Author

Joe Eskenazi

Joe Eskenazi

Bio:
Joe Eskenazi was born in San Francisco, raised in the Bay Area, and attended U.C. Berkeley. He never left. "Your humble narrator" was a staff writer and columnist for SF Weekly from 2007 to 2015. He resides in the Excelsior with his wife, 4.3 miles from his birthplace and 5,474 from hers.

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