New Year's Resolutions
• Get away with murder. What's the SFPD going to do, catch me?
• Crush Mayor Gavin Newsom by talking about San Francisco for nine hours straight.
• Remember that the barista in the organic coffee shop does not like me better with my shirt off.
• Find a more environmentally sound alternative to water, and put it in plastic bottles.
• Improve my reading skills by watching more movies based on books.
• Give more money to the needy by buying newspapers.
• Illegally download only good music.
• Go back to the San Francisco Zoo. If we don't go back to the zoo, the tigers have won.
• Laugh at New College graduates even harder.
• Use Twitter to work through my difficult family issues in increments of 140 characters or fewer.
• Hate whomever the progressives tell me to.
• Try very hard to take the city's supervisors as seriously as they take themselves.
• Fail to rezone the Eastern Neighborhoods.
• Keep telling myself that Burning Man is about the art.
• Spend more time with my loved ones online.
Tags: Sucka Free City, Columns, Gavin Newsom, San Francisco, San Francisco Police Department, San Francisco Zoo
