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Ballads Are a No-No 

Wednesday, Apr 29 2015

Having gone to karaoke bars hundreds of times in my life, I can categorically state that ballads ruin everything. They are the wire hangers of karaoke. This is of course more like a rule of thumb than an ironclad law of thermodynamics, but the one thing to keep in mind when you go on stage is that although it might feel like your time to shine, you still have an obligation to entertain. Everything is set up for an uptempo, high-energy experience, and nothing kills the vibe like a doleful slow jam. If you want to hold the attention of a bunch of drunk people, think twice about "Bridge Over Troubled Water" and keep it above 120 beats per minute. After all, it's a party!

Karaoke City

DJ Purple, Emperor of Karaoke

Mel-o-dee Karaoke: 'Gem of the East Bay'

Come Sing for Mama

The Mint: All Karaoke, All the Time

Monday Night Karaoke in Japantown's Hostess Bars

Karaoke Kounterpoint: You are hereby found guilty of crimes against humility.

About The Author

Peter Lawrence Kane

Peter Lawrence Kane is SF Weekly's Arts Editor. He has lived in San Francisco since 2008 and is two-thirds the way toward his goal of visiting all 59 national parks.


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