Mayor Gavin Newsom recently appointed George Gascón as San Francisco's new chief of police. What are the top criteria Newsom set out for the new chief?
• A visceral dislike of Chris Daly
• Strong in the Dark Side of the Force
• The audaciousness to praise "the mayor's leadership on this issue"
• Experience not cooperating with every level of government
• A love of San Francisco's unique culture and pay scale
• A willingness to arrest people for not composting their banana peels
• A commitment to Sanctuary City policies, no matter how ill-considered
• Someone photogenic enough to look good on Gavin's gubernatorial campaign literature
• Someone who has no experience with San Francisco politics — and who therefore will believe anything
• Compassion for the poor and homeless, unless they are protesting the mayor's budget cutbacks
• Shoots reporters first, takes questions later
• Has a cute wife
