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Write Club

Third Tuesday of every month, 8 p.m.
Make-Out Room 3225 22nd St., San Francisco Mission/ Bernal Heights

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Write Club is literature-as-bloodsport: Two writers rep opposing ideas over three rounds of seven minutes each. Started in Chicago, this high-energy series now has posts in Atlanta, Athens, Los Angeles, Toronto, and here. On the third Tuesday of every month, hosts Casey Childers and Steven Westdahl ("the cornermen") host an array of writers tackling polar opposites. Crowd response determines the winners (and the winners decide to which charity a-goes the door funds).

647-2888

Stand-Up Paddleboarding Lessons

Ongoing
Boardsports 1200 Clay, San Francisco North Beach/ Chinatown

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When the ancient Polynesians invented surfing, they often used a paddle to help them navigate. Fast-forward a few millennia, and Stand-Up Paddleboarding, or SUP, finds itself trendy again. Part of its increasing popularity is that standing upright allows surfers to spot waves more easily and thus catch more of them, multiplying the fun factor. Paddling back to the wave becomes less of a strain as well. The ability to cruise along on flat inland water, surveying the sights, is another advantage. Finally, it’s a good core workout. If you’re sold on the idea, schedule an intro SUP lesson, free with board and paddle rental, and you may find yourself riding the waves like a Polynesian king. 415-385-1224

All You Can Eat Free Buffet at the Gold Club

Mondays-Fridays, 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m.


The Gold Club World Class Gentlemen’s Club and Restaurant present the All You Can Eat FREE BUFFET! This lunch featuring country fried chicken, crumb crusted mac and cheese, homemade lasagna and more has won Best of San Francisco four years in a row. Enjoy an award-winning lunch Monday through Friday 11:30 a.m. ’til 2:00 p.m.

The Salon Doré

Tuesdays-Sundays
Legion of Honor 100 34th Ave., San Francisco Richmond (Outer)

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The Legion of Honor today reopens its incredible French period room, The Salon Doré. The type of room, particular to pre-revolutionary France, was called the salon de compagnie, or salon for conversation. "There was no eating," explains the Legion's curator of European decorative arts and sculpture, Martin Chapman. "They just sat and made conversation and it was the [woman of the house's] ability to hold the conversation. It was a bit like being an actor." Although fake conversations were perfectly acceptable in 1780s France, there's nothing fake about this room — its paint, furniture, paneling, upholstery, and gold gilding have been completely refurbished over the past 18 months. The museum's painstaking efforts have fully restored the room to its original splendor. "When used," Chapman says, "there is a whole orchestration — there's a sort of ballet that plays out in these salons."

415-750-3600

Hiking Yoga

Mondays-Saturdays

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Eric Kipp may be brilliant. Without a doubt, the spirit of San Francisco itself pulses quickly in his veins, because he is the creator of Hiking Yoga. It's exactly what it sounds like; you follow the charge up one of our butt-bustin' hills, and once you're up there, the organizer/sherpas hand out mats and water, and you do some yoga. The courses are chosen for their vistas as well as for their challenges: City-proud fitness nuts, prepare to fall in painful workout love.

San Francisco City Guides Walking Tours

Ongoing

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As a self-described "logical extension of a free public library," our local free walking-tour company is, like most libraries, a fascinating mash of nerdy and white-hot rad. The San Francisco City Guides walking tours happen every day (except major holidays), are free, and follow in the footsteps of hypereducated history nuts who hand out copies of secret, illuminating documents while pointing out the beauty all around us. What's more, in the best-weather months of May and October, the Guides offer extra tours, bringing the weekly count up to 114. Among the tours offered: Palace Hotel, Russian Hill Stairways, Castro: Tales of the Village, Pacific Heights Mansions, Ferry Building, and Market Street: Path of Gold. The Diego Rivera tour, offered Mondays, is one of our favorites — the City Club (formerly the Stock Exchange building) at 155 Sansome is normally closed to the public; the mural, Allegory of California, is pure weird radiant Rivera sorcery. 415-557-4266

Animal Attraction

Ongoing
California Academy of Sciences 55 Music Concourse, San Francisco Richmond (Inner)

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In ancient Rome, the god of fertility was honored in February, with ceremonial love lotteries and mock-floggings with a bloody goatskin. Even those are a pale reflection of truly bizarre courtships that unfold in the natural world. For example, the common garden snail is a hermaphrodite that carries both sets of genitals near its head. Once a week, it engages a new companion in an orgy of sensual caresses until the moment of genital penetration, when the “top” suddenly stabs its partner with a very sharp barb. (The snail’s “love dart” is tipped with a chemical compound that acts as an antidote for the critters’ natural birth control.) Taking a page from Isabella Rossellini’s award-winning Green Porno, the much-anticipated exhibit “Animal Attraction” explores all kinds of strange reproductive rituals. One is the creepy anglerfish, the male of which sinks his teeth into his mate and dissolves until nothing is left but gonads. Another is the exquisite bower bird, which attracts a partner through song, dance, and flamboyant architectural feats. Daily programs include dives in the world’s deepest living coral exhibit to shed light on reef reproduction; somewhat awkward demonstrations of bee dancing, which is crucial to pollination; and regular feedings of the African penguins, which we know form long-lasting same-sex couples in captivity. 415-379-8000

Harvey's Funny Tuesdays

Tuesdays, 9 p.m.
Harvey's 500 Castro, San Francisco Castro/ Noe Valley

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Comedy shows in bars can be an odd mix, especially when a birthday or bachelorette party means lots of stiff drinks and dildos strapped to the heads of the women tearing it up in their final hours before marriage. These giggling “dickheads” can be a comedian’s worst nightmare, as the rest of the audience tends to be tangentially aware that someone else is also performing laughable acts. The clown onstage tries to eke out a living, meanwhile, begging you to take his (or her) wife. But Ronn Vigh, the host and producer of Harvey's Funny Tuesdays, wouldn't stand for that. He says his brash demeanor has brought comparisons to a young Joan Rivers, adding, “well, if she was male, gay and didn't start shooting up Botox by the bucket.” Also, Vigh has had a birthday party at this venue, in which a cadre of his favorite funny gals celebrated his special day from the stage. Regardless, Vigh's lineups always include San Francisco comics of many stripes. The stiff drinks and celebration are a guarantee, but the headgear is up to you. 415-431-4278

"High Fantasy": High Fantasy

Tuesdays, 10 p.m.

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Weekends are for amateurs — the really good stuff happens during the week. Well, that might be a little hyperbolic, but it's certainly true in the case of High Fantasy. Going on for several years now, the weekly Tuesday night party at Aunt Charlie's is your midweek destination for a dose of high-concept gender-bending insanity. Madcap promoters Myles Cooper and Vivian Baron host an evening of cheap drinking, dancing, and drag to an impeccably selected soundtrack of underground house and disco classics. Its Facebook page declares, "It's everything you want...." And, for the low price of $5 (or less), it probably is. 415-441-2922

Meow Mix

Tuesdays, 11 p.m.
The Stud 399 Ninth St., San Francisco South of Market

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We like our gay bars like we like our women — rough around the edges and with as little cover as possible. With its bordello-esque atmosphere and cheap drinks, it's no surprise that The Stud, one of the city's oldest gay bars, still reigns supreme. Sure, it can be a little cramped, and there are corners so dark you need to feel your way out, but where The Stud lacks in ambience, it makes up for it with its no-holds-barred drag performances, amazing local DJs, and innovative performances such as the weekly Meow Mix. Billed as a night of “glamorous and not so glamorous avant garde performance art,” Meow Mix is a cabaret show where anything goes. Expect a little raunch, elaborate costuming, and acerbic wit from host Ferosha Titties. 415-863-6623

Spring Floral Centerpiece Design with B-Side Farm

Tue., May 21, 2-4 p.m.


Join us on the deck of Julia Morgan Hall for Spring Centerpiece Design with Lennie Larkin of B-Side Farm and Floral Design. In this workshop, Lennie will introduce her methods for making a low, wild centerpiece with local seasonal flowers from her North Bay farm and others. Whether you’re new to flowers or an expert dabbler, you’ll find a comfortable and supportive environment in this small, hands-on class. It’s late spring and the flowers in full bloom so the options are many. 510-643-2755

Bren Smith - Eat Like a Fish

Tue., May 21, 6-7:30 p.m.
Book Passage 1 Ferry Building Ste. 42, San Francisco Embarcadero


Easy to grow and sustainable, ocean vegetables are both plentiful and delicious. In Eat Like a Fish, Bren Smith—former commercial fisherman turned ocean farmer—advocates getting seaweed onto American plates and reimagining our ideas about ocean eating. 415-927-0960

Falling In Reverse

Tue., May 21, 7 p.m.


w/ Ice Nine Kills, From Ashes To New, New Years Day 415-673-5716

Weird Film Festival

Mon., May 20, 7-9:30 p.m. and Tue., May 21, 7-9:30 p.m.
PianoFight 144 Taylor, San Francisco Hayes Valley/ Tenderloin

Buy Tickets$12-$15


Shorts - horror, fantasy, sci-fi & just plain weird - from Australia, Belgium, Canada, Germany, Iran, Spain, Ukraine, UK and USA. Vampire skateboarders, horny werewolves, killer houses, evil toys, fugitive androids, dystopia & outstanding animation. Each night is topped off with a longer film: May 20 - Zombies on an Israeli army base! May 21 - Found-footage exposé of a British vampire! Come early for dinner & drinks at PianoFight Theater’s lovely bar and restaurant. Stay for the Weirdness. 415-816-3691

Julia Jacklin

Tue., May 21, 7 p.m.
Swedish American Hall 2174 Market, San Francisco Castro/ Noe Valley


w/ Black Belt Eagle Scout 415-861-5016

Balthazar

Tue., May 21, 7:30 p.m.
Cafe Du Nord 2170 Market, San Francisco Castro/ Noe Valley


415-861-5016

Francesco Piemontesi

Tue., May 21, 7:30-9:30 p.m.
Herbst Theatre 401 Van Ness, San Francisco Hayes Valley/ Tenderloin


Meticulous Swiss firebrand Francesco Piemontesi brings a program of Bach, Debussy and Rachmaninoff for his San Francisco debut. 415-392-2545

The Blue Runners plus Dance Lesson with Cheryl McBride

Tue., May 21, 8-10:30 p.m.

Buy TicketsTickets are $12 Advance / $15 Day of Show

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Doors at 7:30 pm; Dance lesson with Cheryl McBride at 8:00 pm; Show at 8:30 pm Tickets are $12 Advance / $15 Day of Show The Blue Runners trio features Andrew Carriere on accordion, Tom Stewart on guitar and Haywood Douresseau on rub board. Tonight they will be joined by special guests Andre NIgoghossian on fiddle and David "killer" Hymowitz on drums. The group was named after the iconic creole fiddle tune written by Andrew's father Bebe Carriere. In their Ashkenaz debut, Blue Runners bring classic Creole and Cajun favorites to the Tuesday night dance floor. 510-525-5054

Osmium

Tue., May 21, 8 p.m.


w/ EDIFICE, Diatomaceous Earth 415-800-8782

The Lemonheads

Tue., May 21, 8 p.m.
Slim's 333 11th St., San Francisco South of Market

Buy Tickets$30


w/ Tommy Stinson 415-255-0333

Candace

Tue., May 21, 8:30 p.m.
Bottom of the Hill 1233 17th St., San Francisco Potrero Hill/ Dogpatch

Buy Tickets$12


w/ Night Glitter, Blades Of Joy 415-621-4455

Drop-in Drawing: Lines in the Cube

Tue., May 14, 1-3 p.m., Tue., May 21, 1-3 p.m. and Tue., May 28, 1-3 p.m.
Contemporary Jewish Museum 736 Mission, San Francisco South of Market


Join teaching artist Jennifer Ewing for a no-cost, drop-in, guided drawing session. Tuesdays, May 14, 21, 28 | 1-3pm 415-655-7800

Recology™ Artist in Residence Exhibitions: Work by Alicia Escott, Kal Spelletich and Ricki Dwyer

Fri., May 17, 5-8 p.m., Sat., May 18, 1-3 p.m. and Tue., May 21, 5-7 p.m.
Recology San Francisco 501-503 Tunnel, San Francisco Bayview-Hunters Point


Exhibition and reception for current artists-in-residence Alicia Escott, Kal Spelletich, and UC Berkeley student artist Ricki Dwyer. This exhibition will be the culmination of four months of work by the artists who have scavenged materials from the dump to make art and promote recycling and reuse. An artist talk will take place on Tues, May 21 at 6pm. 415-330-0747

Economic Development, Transportation, and Technology

Third Tuesday of every month, 10 a.m.
City Hall 1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett, San Francisco Hayes Valley/ Tenderloin


Board of Supervisors meeting. 415-554-5184

The Stinky Cheese Club

Third Tuesday of every month, 5-7 p.m.
Bender's 806 S. Van Ness, San Francisco Mission/ Bernal Heights

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Pony up some cheese and they'll give you a free PBR or well drink. Bon appetit! 415-824-1800

Milkin It: Haight Ashbury Comedy

Second and Third Tuesday of every month, 8 p.m.
Milk Bar 1840 Haight, San Francisco Haight/ Fillmore

Buy Ticketsfree


Every second and third Tuesday night of the month, the Milk Bar hosts Milkin’ It, a free night of comedy featuring local and national comics hosted by comedians Andrew Holmgren and Leslie Small. 415-387-6455

"Computer Rock"

Third Tuesday of every month, 9 p.m.
Laszlo 2532 Mission, San Francisco Mission/ Bernal Heights

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w/ DJ Commodore 69 415-648-7000

"Porreta!": Porreta!

Third Tuesday of every month, 9 p.m.
Elbo Room 647 Valencia, San Francisco Mission/ Bernal Heights

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all night forró party with DJs Carioca & Lucio K 415-552-7788

"Cumbia Jams": Cumbia Jams

Third Tuesday of every month, 9:30 p.m.-2 a.m.
Make-Out Room 3225 22nd St., San Francisco Mission/ Bernal Heights

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w/ DJs Lizzy Primo + friends 415-647-2888

Lisa Kindred

Third Tuesday of every month, 9:30 p.m.
The Saloon 1232 Grant, San Francisco North Beach/ Chinatown

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415-989-7666

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