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Benjamin Wachs

Dining, Distillations Distillations: La Vie Boheme

Distillations: La Vie Boheme

If a café serves beer, does that make it a bar? If a bar has a dance floor, does that make it a club? These might seem like trivial distinctions — a rose by any other name would be upcharged…
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News, Feature The Chapel

The Chapel

If you're a kid who's just moved to San Francisco, excited for your new job and eager to make a difference, are you likelier to hang around a classic San Francisco venue whose glory days you can never really be…
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News, The Snitch Google’s Stock Surged as Traders Admitted They Don't Know What Alphabet is

Google’s Stock Surged as Traders Admitted They Don't Know What Alphabet is

“This is a great move for Google, because...huh,” said trader Vince Sable.…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Why Are People Stealing Journalists' Equipment?

Why Are People Stealing Journalists' Equipment?

They’re required to present both sides of the robbery. Truth may be priceless, but items used to uncover it can…
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News, The Snitch School District Announces Plan to Recruit New Teachers to SF

School District Announces Plan to Recruit New Teachers to SF

  They've admitted that some children will be left…
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News, Sucka Free City Left Coast City: Why San Francisco is the Most Liberal Place in the Country

Left Coast City: Why San Francisco is the Most Liberal Place in the Country

A new report out of UCLA and MIT declares San Francisco the most liberal city in America. What makes us so liberal? • Our Gay Agenda has more footnotes. • Even our liberal activists get protested by other liberal activists.…
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News, The Snitch Ed Lee: "Willie Brown Taught Me Everything I Know"

Ed Lee: "Willie Brown Taught Me Everything I Know"

San Francisco – As reports surface that FBI officials observed Mayor Ed Lee taking bribes and engaging in “pay-to-play” government, the Mayor denies any wrongdoing, saying, "Just because Willie Brown taught me everything I know doesn’t mean I knew…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Apple Opening S.F. Office Mostly to Taunt Us

Apple Opening S.F. Office Mostly to Taunt Us

SAN FRANCISCO – Apple Inc.’s senior leadership announced this week that they are leasing a 76,000 square foot in San Francisco in order to troll the city. “When the Dark Room closed, we saw a real opportunity to rub…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Why Are the Bay Area's Roads So Bad?

Why Are the Bay Area's Roads So Bad?

· No justice, no roads. · We haven’t got an “Uber for quarterly transportation funding allocations and…
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Dining, Distillations The Inadequacy of Noire Lounge

The Inadequacy of Noire Lounge

As a live pianist played vaguely familiar tunes at the Noire Lounge, I tell E. that if I ever go back to grad school, I think I'd like to write a dissertation on the semiotics of hipster bar decorations. Take…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Confederate-Flag-Clad Stripper at an S.F. Judge's Retirement Party

Confederate-Flag-Clad Stripper at an S.F. Judge's Retirement Party

· The party planner was from South Carolina…
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News, The Snitch The Real Reason Republicans Embrace the Sharing Economy

The Real Reason Republicans Embrace the Sharing Economy

Technology can screw the poor much harder than politics can…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist "Truth Is Beauty" Burner Statue Finding Rocky Reception in San Leandro

"Truth Is Beauty" Burner Statue Finding Rocky Reception in San Leandro

San Leandro has courted controversy by making the centerpiece of its tech campus “Truth is Beauty,” a 45-foot statue of a naked woman that premiered at Burning Man in 2013. Why is the choice of art causing such a…
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News, The Snitch Google's Self-Driving Cars Don't Brake for Minorities

Google's Self-Driving Cars Don't Brake for Minorities

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – As Google continues to test its self-driving cars on California streets, a new report by J.D. Power and Associates gives the cars high rankings in speed, responsiveness, and comfort, but deducts 10 points from their…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist You Have Only One More Weekend to Laugh at '50s Computers in <i>The Desk Set</i>

You Have Only One More Weekend to Laugh at '50s Computers in The Desk Set

The best reason to produce a revival of the 1950s comedy The Desk Set today may also be its biggest weakness. The script speaks directly, even presciently, to our fears about automation, job security, and artificial intelligence, from the…
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News, The Snitch Environmental Protest Mistaken for Burning Man Party

Environmental Protest Mistaken for Burning Man Party

SAN FRANCISCO – A group of 40 protesters, some dressed as polar bears, were discouraged Saturday when their vitally important point about oil drilling on public lands was consistently mistaken for a bear-themed Burning Man camp. Passersby said they were…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist "Go Set a Watchman" to Be Adapted for Film as Part of Marvel Universe

"Go Set a Watchman" to Be Adapted for Film as Part of Marvel Universe

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. – In an announcement that shook the publishing world, Disney executives today confirmed that Harper Lee’s new novel Go Set a Watchman will be adapted as a Marvel Comics movie by 2018. According to unconfirmed reports, Jennifer…
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News, The Snitch 9 Reasons San Francisco Housing Got More Expensive Since 2011

9 Reasons San Francisco Housing Got More Expensive Since 2011

We finally have a Target New errand and food delivery…
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News, The Snitch The Real Reason So Many Obama Staffers Are Moving to SF

The Real Reason So Many Obama Staffers Are Moving to SF

After years spent giving ordinary Americans healthcare, it’s time to…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Comic Con Now Almost Entirely Bereft of Comic Books

Comic Con Now Almost Entirely Bereft of Comic Books

SAN DIEGO — Fans from across the world swarmed this California city in order to celebrate and portray their favorite characters from movies, TV shows, Netflix series, and video games. Lending diversity to the crowd, a few people who read…
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