When I see a frozen cocktail on a menu, I have instant tunnel vision, becoming blind to all other artfully crafted drinks. A perfectly balanced Negroni made with housemade vermouth? Don't care. But a refreshing blended beverage dispensed from a machine? Don't mind if I do! Perhaps it's because they conjure up childhood memories of sucking down 7-Eleven Slurpees on family road trips to Idaho, or teenage recollections of spiking said Slurpees with alcohol swiped from my parents' liquor cabinet. Whatever the reason, I have a deep, lasting love for them. Fortunately, wonderful versions of these icy concoctions can be found throughout San Francisco — no road trip required.
The Slushy at the Palm House: Stop in at this Union Street restaurant for an addictive rum- and Pisco-based beverage ($9.75). During happy hour (3-6:30 p.m. every damn day of the week), it will set you back a mere $6. You can stick with the traditional base, or don your mixologist hat and add prickly pear, passion fruit, or strawberry ($1 each), or the highly recommended float of Kraken dark rum ($3). Pair a Slushy with the Palm House's fried jalapeños ($6.50), and you will quickly realize that the Marina has more to offer than Fireball shots and frat boys. 2032 Union St., 415-400-4355
Frozen Grape Drank from Brewcade: If vintage arcade games aren't enough to get you to patronize this Market Street stop, this drink will surely do the trick. The recipe is simple: sparking grapefruit wine, dry Riesling, and Brechetto. Nothing more. The result is mildly sweet and perfectly effervescent. And after a few Frozen Grape Dranks, even Big Buck Hunter will become endlessly entertaining. 2200 Market St.
Boba Fett from Chino: The name alone is enough to propel even the mildest of Star Wars fans to order this with gusto. Traditionally, I am not the biggest vodka devotee because I genuinely enjoy the taste of liquor, but this drink is enough to convert even the staunchest of haters. The base booze is mixed with ginger, apple, Thai basil, and lemon, and then packaged (and sealed) in a traditional Boba cup. Yes, it's the priciest on the list ($13), but it comes packed with Boba pearls, so it can be considered a meal, right? 3198 16th St., 415-552-5771.
Daiquiri at the Boxing Room: This Hayes Valley spot received its full liquor license in February, and I for one am so glad it did! In addition to Southern staples such as Hurricanes and Mint Juleps, the New Orleans-inspired restaurant has an addictive rendition of the classic Daiquiri. The "Drive Through" version ($10) is made with rum, lime, and sugar, and as the menu promises, is indeed perfect. 399 Grove St., 415-430-6590.
Mai Tai from Li Po Lounge: More than one person has attributed the reason they can't remember their evening in Chinatown to this particular drink ($10). This (potentially) lethal combination of dark and light rums, 151, Chinese liquor, and pineapple juice will indeed leave you wondering just how you ended up at Yuet Lee at 2 a.m. Just be sure to hit the ATM before you visit Peter, the seasoned and salty bar owner; Li Po is cash only, and trust me, you'll be drinking more than one. 916 Grant St., 415-982-0072.
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