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Film, "Smurfs 2": The Franchise Gets Weirder with Hints of Gang-Smurfing

"Smurfs 2": The Franchise Gets Weirder with Hints of Gang-Smurfing

Let's consider The Smurfs 2. PRO: It was actually shot in 3-D (rather than post-converted), the Paris locations are very pretty, and the film spends more time in Smurf Village than the original. CON: There's nowhere left for the story…
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Music, All Shook Down The Top 10 Worst Music Biopics

The Top 10 Worst Music Biopics

A couple of weeks ago, you may recall we did a list of the Top Ten Music Biopics. The biopic debate raged again today, however, after we saw images of Andre 3000 dressed up as Jimi Hendrix, in the midst…
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Music, Bouncer Bouncer Discovers a Crafty Illusion Behind Cervecería MateVeza

Bouncer Discovers a Crafty Illusion Behind Cervecería MateVeza

p>If you are like me, and have looked at pictures of Frank Sinatra in his 20s and wondered, "Why the hell did women find him attractive?" the answer can be found in one of two places. First, he could sing,…
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Music, All Shook Down Six Children of Music Legends Whose Own Music Doesn't Suck

Six Children of Music Legends Whose Own Music Doesn't Suck

You may have heard this week that Paul McCartney's son, James, wants to get together with the children of John Lennon, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr and be a Beatles: Next Generation band. Truthfully, that might be one of the…
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Culture, The Exhibitionist Women Need a "Clout on the Kisser" and a "Tumble in the Hay": In 1960, Sexism Became Schtick

Women Need a "Clout on the Kisser" and a "Tumble in the Hay": In 1960, Sexism Became Schtick

Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets. Women Confidential Author: Lee Mortimer Date: 1960 Publisher: Julian Messner, New York Discovered at: Suggested by…
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Music, Bouncer The Loneliest Wine Bar

The Loneliest Wine Bar

I'm gleeful now I can easily access all the TV I want online, and I don't have to give any money to Comcast, which has taken my checks long enough. Now I mainly watch Hulu, where I've enjoyed marathon sessions…
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News, Sucka Free City Gimme Shelter

Gimme Shelter

In these bad times, even good Samaritans are just a step away from tripping into misfortune. Take the case of the piano player who suddenly appeared late last year to play a little music (like Frank Sinatra's "My Way") for…
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Music, BeatBox Caroline's Catnip Miss Kittin

Caroline's Catnip Miss Kittin

French DJ and singer Miss Kittin (Caroline Hervé) is the voice and pulse of a particularly disaffected electro sound. She occupies this position whether she's guesting on records for pals like Felix da Housecat or setting the tone for revving…
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Music, Hear This Crime pays: OG San Francisco "punks" offer rare live appearance

Crime pays: OG San Francisco "punks" offer rare live appearance

Fishbone is the quintessential hyphenated combo. From its inception in 1979, the spazztastic Los Angeles septet has been mashing genres, pioneering a ska-punk-thrash-funk sound that's as fresh, feral, and nutty as ever. Yet mainstream success has long been elusive for…
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Film, The House Always Wins

The House Always Wins

Lowest Common Denominator-ism writ large and engraved in stone like the Ten Commandments according to Cecil B. DeMille, the Hollywood blockbuster is often an allegory for itself. Walt Disney, the notoriously litigious studio that successfully changed the nation's copyright laws…
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Music, BeatBox It's ladies' afternoon at El Rio

It's ladies' afternoon at El Rio

Junior Boys ' This Is Goodbye buoyed existential lyrics with soft-focus rock and diffused disco details. That 2006 album — displaying influences ranging from OMD to Scritti Politti, Frank Sinatra to Japan — acknowledged mainstream tastes while musing on the…
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Music, Bouncer

You Suck What?

My grandfather had the enviable experience of seeing Marilyn Monroe's panties. As a crew member for 20th Century Fox, he was the person who held the fan below her, billowing her skirt upward, in those famous publicity shots for The…
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Calendar, Urban Experience The Medium Matters

The Medium Matters

ONGOING 8/6-8/31 It's really a shame that we frequent art galleries as much as we do, particularly when genius is so apparent in the abstract, outside-the-lines masterpieces that 7-year-old kids drag home with them every day. Curator Brion Nuda Rosch…
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Best of San Francisco, Arts & Entertainment

Best Crooner

Spencer Day Utah-born singer/songwriter Spencer Day packs fans into any joint where he's tickling the keys, and not just because of his boyish good looks. What makes the twentysomething's vocal stylings special is Day's lack of affected cool,…
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Music, Reviewed Kaada & Patton

Kaada & Patton

The thing about so-called "improvisational" musicians is that, sooner or later, everything they do begins to sound the same. Vocalist Mike Patton, S.F.'s avant-garde poster boy, busies himself with enough disparate projects spearheaded by other people to overcome this handicap…
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Music, Bouncer


I remember a few scattered things about my one and only trip to Las Vegas in July of 1997. First, the heat was more stifling than three Baby Jessicas trapped in a well. Second, no one wanted to see Jeff…
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Music, Bouncer


"Nope, didn't see it," said a 20-year-old guy from S.F. State about the presidential debate last Thursday. "But I'm voting for Kerry no matter what." His hair was gelled -- nay, shellacked -- into hundreds of minihorns across his head,…
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Calendar, Sports/Outdoors Till You Drop

Till You Drop

ONGOING 8/7-10/30 "Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week," according to the old Frank Sinatra song. But it's hard to imagine feeling forlorn at the Chinatown Night Market Fair. Each Saturday, ancient culture and brand-new bargains collide, causing…
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Music, Reviewed Mekons


One of the aspects distinguishing rock 'n' roll from the pop, country, and jazz of previous generations is that rockers very seldom revisit their back catalogs in a studio context. While iconic figures Johnny Cash, Frank Sinatra, and Duke Ellington…
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Calendar, Resolution Guide

The Making of a Metrosexual

Set the clock back and step into a man's barbershop before the unisex revolution of the '60s, and you might get more than a haircut. Back in that day, you could also request a straight-razor shave and even a manicure.…
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