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Thursday, May 12, 2016

Thursday Eight: Does Anyone Ever Win Safeway Monopoly?

Posted By on Thu, May 12, 2016 at 11:30 AM

click image "Slutty nutty" cookies from Press 12 (peanut butter cookies with banana and marshmallows). Available on Caviar. - PRESS 12
  • Press 12
  • "Slutty nutty" cookies from Press 12 (peanut butter cookies with banana and marshmallows). Available on Caviar.

Plus a look at the incredibly high-end omakase restaurant opening tomorrow in Mint Plaza, and hey, the Prohibition Party is mounting a quixotic comeback.

Extraordinarily Super-High-End Sushi Opening in Mint Plaza Tomorrow

The bottom tier of the three tasting menus at Sushi Hashiri, opening tomorrow at 4 Mint Plaza where Chez Papa Resto used to be,  is $250 per person. The top tier is $500. Sushi is flown in from Tokyo's Tsukiji Market. You will never afford it. Omakase is getting crazy. The above video is 59 seconds of pure food porn, with drumming.

Does Anybody Ever Win Safeway Monopoly?
So asks Broke-Ass Stuart's Goddamn Website. The answer seems a bit inconclusive, although the odds of winning that million are approximately 405 million to 1. You can definitely win some Cheez-Its, though, which you can then hate-eat on a bench in Marvin Gardens.

Blue Bottle Will Open on South Park
Hoodline reports that a food-prep-free Blue Bottle is scheduled to appear inside the purty brick building at 2 South Park St. sometime this fall. Not counting other cafes that pour Blue Bottle, that would be the chain's seventh S.F. location, by my count.

Chronicle Hates Häagen-Dazs Ad, SFist Likes It
A minor media kerfuffle has broken out over an ice cream ad at Montgomery BART. SFGate thinks it's the worst kind of pandering, SFist says it gives them a craving for ice cream. Isn't Häagen-Dazs' ridiculous made-up name pandering to Americans' assumption that vaguely Euro-sounding products — mit umlauten! — are inherently elegant?

Dirty Water Doing Bottomless Mimosas for Bay to Breakers
That's what 7x7 says. I genuinely wish the best for Dirty Water (1355 Market) — which is playing with dirty fire — and extend my pre-condolences to its janitorial staff for any thing that goes awry between the hours of 11 a.m. and 10 p.m. this Sunday.

Mark Bittman Leaves Food Startup
Noted food writer, East Bay transplant, and vegan-before-6-p.m. Mark Bittman has left the food delivery startup Purple Carrot six months after jumping ship from The New York Times (which signed an agreement with Chef'd to deliver boxed food to subscribers). According to Mother Jones, he hasn't sold off his stake in the company

A Look at Non-Scotch Single-Malt Whiskey
Because Scotch has to be produced in Scotland, other single-malt distillers are finding ways to get creative and bring their products out. Balanced against that creativity, according to The New York Times, is respect for the craft: "It’s not clear whether all the countries making whiskies have rules governing single malt, but distillers with integrity will stick to the traditional definition, which includes aging the whisky in oak barrels for at least three years."

Washington Post Reporter Eats Newspaper
Sorry for so much media-on-media stuff, but this is kind of satisfying to see. Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, who vowed in October that he'd eat one of his columns if Donald Trump ever got the GOP nomination, did just that. It's like Werner Herzog eating his shoe, only the comeuppance is better when seeing smug national political correspondents pay for getting everything so wrong.

Hey, the Prohibition Party Is Back
The Guardian looks at how the political movement to get rid of alcohol has bounced back from its 2012 nadir when it got 518 votes nationwide. Its presidential candidate, Jim Hedges, holds a local office in Pennsylvania that he won after running unopposed, making him the first Prohibition Party official in the U.S. since, well, Prohibition. (He also looks like a cross between an Amish elder and former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop.)

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About The Author

Peter Lawrence Kane

Peter Lawrence Kane is SF Weekly's Arts Editor. He has lived in San Francisco since 2008 and is two-thirds the way toward his goal of visiting all 59 national parks.


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