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Monday, February 1, 2016

Monday 13: Genderfuck the Super Bowl 50 Clothing and Food Drive

Posted By on Mon, Feb 1, 2016 at 12:00 PM

click to enlarge PETER LAWRENCE KANE
  • Peter Lawrence Kane

Plus the Ferry Building is easily accessible during the run-up to the Super Bowl, the "world's best chef" has committed suicide, and the Mushroom Death Suit helps ecologically minded people decay in good conscience.

The Ferry Building Is Not Inside Super Bowl City
The Super Bowl Fan Village is probably causing tends of thousands of San Franciscans to eschew unnecessary travel further inbound than Montgomery BART. But CUESA wants you to know that the Ferry Building is up and running outside the security perimeter, and has lots of fun stuff going on between now and the eventual destruction of the Super Bowl City by rioting Uber drivers. Three Babes Bakeshop is throwing a Pie Bowl, Hog Island's got an oyster pop-up, and this week's three farmers markets include favorites like Little Apple Treats, Tacolicious,  Allstar Organics, Donna's Tamales, and the brand-new Namu Noodle. Check out the full programming at

Genderfuck Food Drive
Now that your opportunities for vandalizing Super Bowl 50 signs with brilliant wordplay are diminishing, it's time to channel your outrage at the surveillance state and anti-homeless fortress this city has become in more constructive ways. Tomorrow at noon, there will be a glittery food-and-clothing drive under the Central Freeway as civic-minded drag queens feed and clothe residents of the beleaguered tent city and anyone else in need. Bring non-perishables, blankets, socks, and anything else the less-fortunate might need for the remaining weeks of our El Niño-filled winter.
Genderfuck the Super Bowl 50 Clothing and Food Drive, Tuesday, Feb. 2, noon, at 13th and Harrison Streets.

See the KittenBowl at KitTea
Once you've helped your fellow humans, it's time to turn your attention to the kitties. A "big ball of love" and resident feline at KitTea Cafe will predict the Super Bowl winner on Friday at 5 p.m. at the Super Bowl Catstravaganza, plus there will be a viewing of Hallmark's Kitten Bowl at some as-yet-unspecified time on Sunday, Feb. 7.
KitTea, 96 Gough, 415-0658-7888 or

Movement in Foodie Real Estate: Home, Roosevelt Tamale Parlor, Yoshi's
In two articles, Socketsite notes that the former Home space in the Castro is going to be a 62-unit condo (surprise!), and Roosevelt Tamale Parlor (the business, not the building) is for sale, while the Chronicle shows that S.F. is in the unenviable position of turning the money-hemorrhaging Yoshi's into a profitable enterprise that reflects the Fillmore's heritage.

Jay's Cheesesteak Closes
Making room for the eventual Namu Stonepot, Jay's Cheesesteak on Divisadero closed forever yesterday, according to Hoodline.

Bankrupt Premier Cru Ordered to Turn Over Secret Computer

The ongoing saga over the Berkeley wine retailer that was bilking its largely Chinese customer base in a pyramid scheme got even juicier, according to the Business Times, as the bankruptcy court ordered Premier Cru to turn over its secret computer.

The World's Best Chef Has Taken His Own Life

Benoit Violier, the 44-year-old, three-Michelin-starred chef of Switzerland's Restaurant de l'Hotel de Ville in Crissier (which was rated the best restaurant in the world), committed suicide yesterday. According to the BBC, Violier's death occurred a day before he was to be in Paris for the launch of the latest Michelin guide.

The New York Times Looks at California's Mandarin Oranges
I have to say that this headline made me laugh. "Mandarin Oranges, Rising Stars of the Fruit Bowl" sounds a lot like SNL's '90s-era NPR parody food show, The Delicious Dish ("Next week, we'll talk about one of the unsung heroes of the breakfast table: toast!"). But the NYT article is quite fascinating, talking about the collapse of Florida's mandarin industry and the corresponding tenfold growth of California's, and how they're one of the original five citruses. Also, you know how sometimes you buy a bag of them and they're all completely flavorless? It's because the washing required for food safety compliance can strip off the natural wax coating that locks the taste in. (The article also contains another Delicious Dish line, "Mandarins may seem an unlikely candidate for a marquee fruit."

You Are Destined to Decay: The Mushroom Death Suit
This is so goth! Via Atlas Obscura, the trend of green burials reaches its logical endpoint with the Mushroom Death Suit, a way to speed your body's eventual decomposition along in an ecologically sensitive way. It's cool, especially if you're a total control freak who wants to dictate the terms long after you're gone. Honestly, though, the image of what you'll look like once your corpse has sprouted some fungal fruiting bodies is really unsettling.

The Chipotle Conspiracy Theory
Thrillist notes that Chipotle's struggles with E.coli contamination have accrued a healthy(?) following of conspiracy-minded provocateurs claiming that Monsanto and other members of the "biotech mafia" intentionally poisoned the meat in order to teach the publicly anti-GMO Chipotle an important lesson about who's really in charge. The template for this scheme was apparently the successful vendetta against Dr. Oz. Specious, but with rappers and Tila Tequila getting on the flat-earth bandwagon, not the stupidest thing we've heard.

Taco Bell Sadz
Taco Bell is not having a good run. Last week, Hoodline reported that several S.F. locations are closing, the attractive Pacifica Taco Bell is probably positioned a little more precariously with respect to the stormy seas, and now, on the eve of the Super Bowl, Christian advocacy group Faith Driven Consumer gave the company a 29 out of 100 in its ranking of Big Game advertisers. 

McDonald's Mozzarella Sticks Appear to Lack Mozzarella
Ever since repeating Wendy's "Where's the Beef" tagline helped Walter Mondale defeat Ronald Reagan in 1984, fast food companies have quaked in fear of missing key ingredients. Now it's McDonald's turn. Salon compiled a bunch of tweeted pics of hollow mozzarella sticks. They do look pretty sad.

Ted Cruz Promises Iowa Fries
With polls showing that he's rather likely to lose the Iowa caucuses to Donald Trump, Sen. Ted Cruz made a promise that, in a less insane election year, would probably get a lot more traction as pandering crazy talk. According to the Daily Mail, he criticized First Lady Michelle Obama's efforts to make school lunches more nutritious, assuring the crowds that his wife Heidi would bring back French fries. Yea! Too bad fussy nine-year-olds can't caucus tonight.

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About The Author

Peter Lawrence Kane

Peter Lawrence Kane is SF Weekly's Arts Editor. He has lived in San Francisco since 2008 and is two-thirds the way toward his goal of visiting all 59 national parks.


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