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Tuesday, January 12, 2016

That's Classified: Trick Dog Has a New Menu

Posted By on Tue, Jan 12, 2016 at 12:00 PM

click to enlarge Clockwise from left: Chemtrails, the Reptilian Elite, Crop Circle. - PETER LAWRENCE KANE
  • Peter Lawrence Kane
  • Clockwise from left: Chemtrails, the Reptilian Elite, Crop Circle.

In this age of heavily redacted government documents, over-classification, and NSA bureaucrats spying on Congress and then lying about it, it’s good to know that someone out there is still pursuing the truth about Roswell, N.M., and David Icke’s secret government of Lizard People. Trick Dog, the very highly regarded Mission bar with the proclivity for elaborate cocktail menus, has done it again.

This latest compendium of 12 cocktails happens to be a physically attractive object, too, more like a dossier on an enemy of the state than a message that Inspector Gadget would read only for it to self-destruct. (It better not; the food menu is still yet to be worked out.)

Let the lining of your stomach absorb the gently fungal Crop Circle (Akashi Japanese whisky, barley water, and ginger reishi mushroom syrup) the way the State absorbs and neutralizes dissent. Or tilt your head back and take a deep in half of the Chemtrails, made from Grand-Dad Bonded Bourbon, grapefruit juice, caramel corn, and lemon juice. If you’d rather something up and not over ice, the Reptilian Elite (Bombay Dry Gin, Noilly Prat, lime, and cocoa nib) is a unique variation on a dry martini, no scaly saurons allowed. The real doozie, of course, is that Trick Dog’s menu doubles as a recipe book, so you can go home and replicate these cocktails in front of the telescreen or the HAL-9000 gaze of your Nest.

Even for people with nothing to hide, the surveillance state is enough to drive you to drink. But who knew the answers really were at the bottom of a coupe glass? On second thought, it’s clear that Trick Dog’s new menu is a false flag operation designed to launch tax-paying, law-abiding citizens into such heights of ecstasy that they become easy targets for blackmail by shadowy cabals who need Manchurian candidates and other dupes. This thing goes all the way to the top. Drink at your own risk.

Trick Dog, 3010 20th St., 415-471-2999 .

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About The Author

Peter Lawrence Kane

Peter Lawrence Kane is SF Weekly's Arts Editor. He has lived in San Francisco since 2008 and is two-thirds the way toward his goal of visiting all 59 national parks.


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