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Monday, October 19, 2015

Monday Seven: The Canned Parrots of Telegraph Hill, 1300 Fillmore Throws a Party

Posted By on Mon, Oct 19, 2015 at 12:00 PM

click to enlarge Canned parrots in North Beach? - BRADLEY BALTEZORE
  • Bradley Baltezore
  • Canned parrots in North Beach?

Anchor Brewing teaches you all about the difference between stouts and porters, which MLB owner is wasting a shit-ton of water, delicacies of the Soviet Union revealed in full color, and what vegetarians do while drunk.

click to enlarge Shashlik, a skewered meat dish from the Caucusus - CCCP COOKBOOK/FUEL PUBLISHING
  • CCCP Cookbook/Fuel Publishing
  • Shashlik, a skewered meat dish from the Caucusus

Someone Is Trolling Telegraph Hill in the Most Brilliant Way

NIMBYism is one of the most infuriating aspects of San Francisco life, and there's probably no bigger proponents of it than the Telegraph Hill Dwellers Association. And someone is trolling the Hill People with a display of "canned parrots" at a business called Terrific Street. (That was an actual Barbary Coast-era nightlife district, by the way, and this parody of it also takes a punch S.F.-based company Del Monte with their logo.)

Whether you think this installation hilarious (as I do) or juvenile (as most adults probably would), the responses it provoked are way better than the initial chuckle — and Terrific Street posted those, too, as Hoodline noted. Some people have taken it as a direct assault on Telegraph values, just as if you wiped your ass with the Stars and Bars outside the Citadel on Stonewall Jackson Appreciation Day: "Deliberately disgracing the parrots is an obvious attack on North Beach" reads one note. "You're in the wrong neighborhood. Shame on you," reads another. Take your shenanigans to Forest Hill! Or don't. You're brilliant, Terrific Street. 

UPDATED: When reached for comment, former Sup. Aaron Peskin directed SF Weekly to contact the directors of The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill.


Eight x 1300
1300 on Fillmore has been serving Southern low-country cuisine for a full eight years, and they're celebrating with an anniversary party this Sunday, Oct. 25 from 6-9 p.m. You get tasty morsels such as trotter cake with red eye aioli, and grilled octopus with honeydew and country ham agresto. House wine and well cocktails are only $5, beers are $3, and specialty cocktails like the Jazz Berry are a mere $8. It's a benefit for the Taste of the NFL's "Kick Hunger" Challenge that supports St. Anthony's and the S.F.-Marin Food Banks.
1300 Fillmore Eighth Anniversary Bash, Sunday, Oct. 25, 6-9 p.m., at 1300 Fillmore, 415-771-7100.

Stout vs. Porter
Ever wondered about why the line between ports and stouts is so ambiguous? Anchor Brewing posted a time-burglar of a history that will elucidate you. It even includes a quote from Michael Jackson. (Not that Michael Jackson.)

click to enlarge VIVINO.COM
  • Vivino.com
Billy Beane, Water Waster
Mother Jones has jabbed its stick at the Bay Area's five biggest water wasters. While A's part-owner Billy Beane makes the list, the number one offender is none other than a former Vice Chairman of Chevron, who uses over 12,000 gallons a day. He claims there's a leak under his property. Mm-hmmm. Because prioritizing the environment is a key component of Chevron's code of conduct.

Soviet Foodstuffs Come Alive!
There's nothing quite like the horrors of a mid-20th-century cookbook. If the food isn't shellacked to a glossy, unappetizing sheen, then it's faded like somebody put it through the Amaro filter on Instagram. Atlas Obscura caught a magnificent new compendium of food products from the Soviet Union that includes a perch aspic that looks like a translucent fish swallowed an aspic whole, and even manages to make caviar look godawful. Pardon the mild ethnocentrism, but the Cyrillic typefaces really sweeten (i.e., sadden) the deal.

Vegetarians Get Wasted
Kind of like how some straight bros can totally get drunk and mess around with other drunk straight bros and be totally straight, about one in three vegetarians will eat meat while intoxicated and still be totally veg. I read this more as "Hey, we're all human" than as "A-ha! You self-righteous hypocrites!" but at least there's data now.

Candy Corn and Sparkling Rose, Please

Curious about which wines go with which fun-sized Snickers? Vivino has a handy chart for wine and Halloween candy pairings. While it's pretty well-known that chocolate and Champagne should never be served together, some of these choices are a bit odd, although M&Ms paired with a bold red makes sense to me. And note that Necco's are so disgusting that nothing would ever redeem them.

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About The Author

Peter Lawrence Kane

Bio:
Peter Lawrence Kane is SF Weekly's Arts Editor. He has lived in San Francisco since 2008 and is two-thirds the way toward his goal of visiting all 59 national parks.

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