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Monday, August 27, 2012

Distilled Moustache: Brilliant Fake Press Release Submitted to Eater SF

Posted By on Mon, Aug 27, 2012 at 10:00 AM

Coming soon to a former speakeasy near you? - FLICKR/STAR5112

Monday is already off to a good start, thanks to another fake press release submission to Eater SF for a new bar called DISTILLED MOUSTACHE. The same jokester sent a fake release to Eater a few weeks ago for a restaurant called Reclaimed Wood & Subway Tiles, which claimed to have ingredients sourced from "pop-up farms," a menu that changed hourly "to provide the freshest ingredients and trends available," and a chef who "once parked Thomas Keller's Prius."

But they've really outdone themselves with the new DISTILLED MOUSTACHE press release, which swiftly satirizes all the current mixology clichés including bar names with ampersands/impossible-to-say acronyms and ridiculous-sounding cocktail ingredients (which the bar plans to grow in an "underground greenhouse").

Our bar manager has an extensive resume, having worked at famous cocktail dens such as: Whiskey & Limb, BOBCASA, Regional Copy, as well as WTF in New York ... We are also currently hiring "Distilloligists" and "Libationologists" to tend to our fine ingredients and tend bar.

Here is a sample cocktail menu: The Vest: Bourbon, moustache sweat, bitters, cactus juice The Stache: Scotch Whiskey, fresh basil, huckelberry juice, Skinny Tie: Rye, lemon, maple syrup, egg white, soda & Angostura bitters Thanks!

Note to the author of these press releases: We're currently looking for new writers, and we'd love to hear from you.

Follow us on Twitter at @sfoodie, and like us on Facebook. Follow me at @annaroth.

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About The Author

Anna Roth

Anna Roth

Anna Roth is SF Weekly's former Food & Drink Editor and author of West Coast Road Eats: The Best Road Food From San Diego to the Canadian Border.


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