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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Top 5 Alcoholic Beverages To Get You Through Thanksgiving and Into Black Friday

Posted By on Wed, Nov 23, 2011 at 12:30 PM

We all know that to get through the holidays, you must drink. If you don't drink, may God have mercy on your soul. Here are our picks for festive drinks you can make and enjoy all day on Thursday, and still not look like you have "a problem." Day Time Holiday Drinking, say heeey!

5. Anything with Wild Turkey
Drink it mixed with cranberry for a one-two holiday punch, heated up with honey or agave and lemon in a hot toddy, or just serve it on the rocks. We call it "Thanksgiving Sweet Tea" in my house.

4. Hot Toddies
Alcohol is somehow adorable and more acceptable when it's heated up. Take advantage of this bizarre truth by going crazy with the microwave. If you add extra lemon and honey, and it's all of a sudden a magical health elixir. All right, sure. Hot alcohol, gotta love it!

3. Brunch Cocktails
Since Thanksgiving is often served in the middle of the day, mimosas and bloody marys make a perfect pairing. Just pretend you're on the set of Sex and the City and go buckwild on a few quarts of it. Everyone will be so busy gorging themselves, they won't notice you're in the corner giving a monologue about your vaginal dryness. You're such a Samantha!

2. Blackout Punch
If you're giving Black Friday the other bird, why not mix a bowl of this deadly stuff and then let go and let god? It's basically every liquor you have mixed in a giant bowl, plus some extra champagne and some kind of fruit juice, if you have it. This is the same shit they serve at fraternity mixers to get the ladies loose, but you're making it classic holiday fun by adding a few frozen cranberries.

Bonus points: Throw in some cranberry sorbet for an extra festive kick. Seriously, this stuff is so adorable, you won't even know how potent it is until you're finally telling your racist uncle exactly where to shove it. Happy Thanksgiving!


1. Mulled Wine
This is the shit Santa gets blitzed on. Pour a warm mug of this to get you out the door and into the 4 a.m. line at Penney's.

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
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