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Monday, November 21, 2011

Do Not Pity the Turkey. Fear the Turkey.

Posted By on Mon, Nov 21, 2011 at 7:30 AM

They will hunt you, too.
  • They will hunt you, too.

Humans may eat millions of turkeys at Thanksgiving, but don't think that the turkeys aren't fighting back. If YouTube is to be believed, the turkey resistance is growing. They are chasing down terrified reporters in Sacramento and attacking our infrastructure (well, one particular mail truck in Cape Cod), our pets' food supply, even our children.

Packs of turkeys, it appears, hunt with the tenacity of wolves, chasing their suburban prey for blocks and lurking around potential victims, looking more like the raptors in Jurassic Park than a cute Butterball. Frankly, they are creepy. Be sure to brine yours for a day or two before roasting...just to make sure it won't rise from the dead and attack you in your sleep.

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Follow me at @JonKauffman.

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Jonathan Kauffman


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