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Friday, November 18, 2011

Thanksgiving Galore, PETA's Holiday Antics, and Pit Bulls & Sexy Men Calendars For All!

Posted By on Fri, Nov 18, 2011 at 1:30 PM


Chako, a pit bull rescue and education group, has put together an amazing calendar of sexy, sexy naked men and adorable, adorable pit bulls. Gift them to everyone this holiday season, especially your ignorant friends and relatives who say stupid things about pit bulls because they know nothing about them. They can be all, "Pit bulls are scary!" and then you can bust out the calendar and be all, "SCARILY SEXUAL." Changing hearts and minds!

• Last weekend I went to Harvest Home Sanctuary's Toast to the Turkeys and took a million photos of super cute animals and delicious food. Oh, what fun we had! I can't really tell you all about it because I'm starting to develop carpal tunnel with all this g-d educating I'm doing here, but there's still a chance for you to party with the turkeys at one of the nation-wide Thanksgiving celebrations with the animals. Get up on that!

• More Thanksgiving food news because the only thing that'll stop you from ending it all around the holidays is an almost unlimited access to mashed potatoes. Eat up, fatty, you can hate yourself in January! Now, if you're in the S.F. Bay Area and you want to pick up your Thanksgiving meal and/or dessert, here's a list of places to do that. If you're in the S.F. Bay Area and you want to dine out on the Big Day, here's where you can do that. If you're anywhere else in the country, sorry you're not closer to me, and here's where you can celebrate. BE THANKFUL ON THAT, FOOLSRIENDS!

PETA asked Turkey, Texas to change its name to Tofurky, Texas. Of course. In the letter to Mayor Pat Carson, PETA writes:

In contrast [to Tofurky], virtually all turkey meat sold in the U.S. comes from factory farms, where birds are confined by the thousands to filthy, barren sheds. They are drugged and bred to grow such unnaturally large upper bodies that their legs often become crippled under the weight. These bright and social animals are denied everything that is natural and important to them, and at the slaughterhouse, turkeys are still conscious when their throats are slit.

All true! Also, I'd love to be in the boiler room with the PETA gang when they think of these campaigns, because you know it gets crazy. I bet they go all Fight Club on each other until one of them comes up with the best stupidest idea. I wonder if they waterboard the new kids until they come up with their first racist, sexist, ageist, sizeist campaign? God love 'em.

Grist says tattoos aren't vegan but they're a bunch of idiots. Most vegans who get tattoos already know that and seek out vegan ink. It's like saying, "Most milk isn't vegan!" It's like, NO DOY, and I only drink Silk Nog during the holidays, anyway, DAMN. What I'm trying to say is, most people who are vegan figure this shit out and make adjustments, ya know?

Some famous people are vegan! It's a trend! Until they're not! And then that's a trend, too! A slow week for some poor A.P. reporter is veganism's loss or gain, depending.

• Cooking at home this year? You're either a glutton, a martyr, partially slow, or literally have a gun to your head. Either way, here's some resources to help you: 1) GOOGLE DAMN GIRL DUH. 2) Chloe Coscarelli's hearty mains , Candle 79's ridiculously delicious seitan piccata and other recipes, hella desserts, and hella side dishes. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, GOOD FRIENDS!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.

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