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Friday, September 30, 2011

Mission's Vegan Taco Trike, Gizmodo Takes on PETA, and World Vegetarian Day, Let's Party!

Posted By on Fri, Sep 30, 2011 at 3:46 PM

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Turtles acting out emoticons! And they're not even trying. They're just naturally awesome. Ahh, to be a turtle. Except turtle no. 7, because that guy is channeling Pacino in Scarface and he's straight freaking me out.

There's a new vegan taco trike in the Mission! That makes it the only vegan taco trike in the Mission. Surprising, I know. Anyway, they sound really good, all homemade tortillas filled with mango and avocado and plantains and stuff. I'll take many!

Tyson Fresh Meats (lolz! also, puke) recalled 131,300 lbs. of E. coli-contaminated beef. I am running out of terrible meat-recall jokes. I can't keep up with the supply! That fresh meat just giveth and giveth (the bloody diarrhea). Finally, there it is!

Vegansaurus shirts are here! And they're fucking adorable and you need a lot of them. How amazing will you look with a stately/psychotic pink dino on your chest? Very amazing. So don't stop, get it, get it, because they're only here until Oct. 14!

• This Saturday marks the 34th annual World Vegetarian Day, and that means it's time for San Francisco's World Vegetarian Festival! All day Saturday and Sunday in Golden Gate Park you can carouse with a bunch of your hippie brethren. Eat twigs, munch on sticks, and compare the patterns on your natural-dye hemp socks. Oh, what fun!

• Los Angeles' Spork Sisters are heading up to San Francisco for the release of their first book, Spork-Fed. In celebration, VegNews is throwing a party at their fabulous Mission offices on Friday, Oct. 21, complete with a Cinnaholic cinnamon roll bar. Yes, a CINNAMON ROLL BAR. Buy your tickets now because I'm counting on you to wake me from my sugar blackout, wipe my drool- and icing-crusted face, and put me in a cab to the address that will be hanging around my neck. It's important to always be prepared!

Gizmodo rails against PETA because PETA put up another stupid billboard and now all techie nerdburgers hate all vegans. Oh well, at least we're all on the bottom rung of life. Or at least that's where we all should be! Damn this internet money, allowing lowly nerds and dorks to use public restrooms and show their faces in full sunlight. You should be stuffed in a garbage can somewhere, not making buckets of money because can drink massive amounts of Mountain Dew and work a computer real good. Injustice is everywhere!

Well, this is shitty news. Big ag is starting to take notice of the small groups that are trying to educate others about how terrible things really are for animals, humans, the environment, our humanity, etc. This is not good; when these big-ag asshats want to stamp out a problem, they're usually very effective. Of course, they'll paint themselves as a tiny group of farmers who are just trying to make a living best they know how, "aww shucks!" But don't be fooled -- these people are highly organized billionaire sociopaths who only care about protecting the interest of the seven people who make money off the backs of billions of others. So creepy! Keep your eyes peeled to see how this progresses.

Compassion Over Killing uncovered a $9.5 BILLION price-fixing scheme involving the National Milk Producers Federation and other big dairy. They've filed a class-action complaint against the industry, claiming that in a scheme to raise the price of milk, they killed over 500,000 young cows. Seriously, why can't everyone just switch to almond milk? It's so damn good! And it's not laced with the blood of innocents! Dramatic, I know, but fuck! How is that not true? Massive amounts of White Russians (made with delicious coconut creamer), take me away!

Laura Beck is a founding editor of Vegansaurus! and tweets at mrpenguino.
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Laura Beck


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