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Friday, April 22, 2011

Biz Stone's Vegan Cake, Pictures of Cute Old Animals, and Introducing Fawaffle

Posted By on Fri, Apr 22, 2011 at 11:45 AM


7x7 shares a recipe from Greens for its amazing vegan devil's food cake. Rumor has it that it was served at Biz Stone's birthday party. If it's good enough for Biz Stone, it's good enough for Biz Stone. And hopefully you, too! All I know is that I'll be eating an entire one tonight as I cry along to episodes of Drop Dead Diva. ACK!

Tamara Palmer, food writer extraordinaire, went vegan for a week and lived to tell her tale! She ate like a fucking QUEEN, and as soon as I'm done writing this, I'm off to Rainbow Grocery to buy all the snacks she tried. Anyway, her food diary is published at, so hurry over to see how she loved and lived as a vegan.

Make a FAWAFFLE. It's what happens when a waffle makes loves to a falafel. Or more like, it's what happens when you put a falafel-y batter into a waffle maker. Either way, it's fascinating! I think I'll eat it in a lavash and covered with maple syrup. Don't judge me -- I bet you dip fries in your milkshake or something equally funky! We're all freaks here!

It's Berkeley Vegan Earth Day tonight! Go and see vegans, hippies, and lovers of Mother Earth going crazy. If there's an event that's more California, I don't want to know about it. No really, I do not want to know.

Pictures of cute old animals -- and I want to hug them all forever. How cool is it to see a pig that lives to 13? A pig living a natural lifespan must happen, like, .01 percent of the time or thereabouts? Most of the animals that humans eat are babies: born, fattened up with hormones and unable to move, and slaughtered as early as six months. It's too heartbreaking to think about right now, I will NOT cry in this cafe again. Ugh, there is a kid staring at me. WHY AREN'T YOU IN SCHOOL??

• Speaking of kids, there's this 11-year-old who raised more than $150,000 to raise money for wildlife recovery in the Gulf. Seriously, that happened. I hope to the good lord above that this girl holds onto her awesomeness, no matter how hard the world tries to beat it out of her. Although, if I were her, I would completely rest on my laurels and one day, I'd wake up 50 years old, living in my parents' basement, being all, "Dude, when I was 11, I raised 150,000 for the birds, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!" And my parents would be all, "You're right! Here's a sandwich, a puppy, $500, and Call of Duty 78!"

• From the ashes of VegNews/Quarrygirl MeatPhotoGate rises a new vegan stock photo site. All vegan! All stock photos! All the time! You guys, I have so many plans to submit Sears-style portraits of myself, you have no idea. Please feel free to use them for your blogs, magazines, websites, and wanking needs! First idea: I'm sitting on one of those fake polar bear skin carpets in front of a fake fire and the camera is behind me (as if sneaking up) and I turn around and am all, "Who me?" This will be available in both naked and clothed varieties. The vegan stock photo people have no idea what they've done.

• If you drink cow's milk or eat cheese made with a cow's milk, you need to watch the latest Mercy for Animals investigation. It takes place at E6 Cattle Co. in Texas, and it's fairly horrific. And by fairly horrific, I mean it's a fucking nightmare from hell. Workers bludgeoning calves in their skulls with pickaxes and hammers -- often involving five to six blows, sometimes more -- before rendering the animals unconscious. Beaten calves, alive and conscious, thrown onto dead piles. Workers kicking downed calves in the heads, and standing on their necks and ribs. It's really too much to even think about, I had to completely glaze over as I wrote that or I'd start the public crying. You see, I write this from a cafe and the poor people around me have already been subjected to my creepy sobs twice this morning. If I'm invited to leave this place, I'll blame the dairy industry and my unstable mental health! Anyway, Megan's write-up is right-on (ha!) so really, go read it and watch the video. These cows give their lives so you can enjoy your morning cereal, it's the least we can do. Well, that and switch to milk made from soy, almond, oat, coconut, or hemp! For real, HEMP! And no, it doesn't get you high. Unfortunately.

It's World Week for Animals in Labs and man, this Week in Vegan is a fucking downer. The fact that we still experiment on animals when there's better ways to do things is beyond me. Oh, wait, it's because that's how scientists and researchers get big pharmaceutical industry money so nothing will ever stop! It's so fucking ridiculous. Most animal experiments are completely antiquated and not at all beneficial to human health, with the vast majority not contributing (or contributing incorrect information) to medical advancements. The researchers' trump card of "It's us or them!" is actually a house of cards (see what I did poorly there), because it's total bullshit.

Vegan Cuts is a new vegan discount Groupon thing but for all vegan products! Consume, consume, consume!

• Okay, it's DOGS and a RAINBOW and the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE. Really, what else do you people want? My kidney? Fine. That'll be $100, please! A bargain at twice the price! I think? Wait, can I get more? And how many kidneys do I have? Is this making my science argument about lab animals less persuasive? Ugh.

• Finally, this isn't vegan-related, but MOTHERFUCKER, I've been waiting for this study all my life.

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Laura Beck


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