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Friday, January 28, 2011

Standing Up for Bullies, Taking the Rest of the Beef Out of 'Taco Meat'

Posted By on Fri, Jan 28, 2011 at 1:38 PM

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SFoodie's roundup of tips, news, and rants from the week in animal-free eats.

• Uh, did you know that if you live in S.F., you can get a free spay or neuter at the SFSPCA for your dog or cat during the month of February? TRUE FACT. So if any of you are running around with companion animals who need their ballicals chopped off, do it to it! A fixed animal is a healthier, happier animal! And trust me, your dog/cat ain't that fucking special and does NOT need to be bred. There are enough unwanted shelter animals who are euthanized each year because of dumb-ass breeders. Don't make me go all New Zealand on your asses!

click to enlarge Maybe this could qualify as transitionally vegan? Taco Bell's Beefy 5-Layer Burrito. - JOHN BIRDSALL
  • John Birdsall
  • Maybe this could qualify as transitionally vegan? Taco Bell's Beefy 5-Layer Burrito.

• Oh, and speaking of breeders, you can totally protest the Golden Gate Kennel Club Dog Show this weekend because they are awful. AND you should definitely get outraged over the bloody and bruised pit bulls who were found stacked in crates at an East Oakland home and then you should realize that pit bulls are the very best and ADOPT ONE TODAY! Serious, bullies are the best.

• This is hilarious. Taco Bell is being sued by some idiots who are pissed about TB saying the food-like substance in their taco meat is actually meat. LOLZ, DUMBASSES. You ran for the border, this ain't the House of Prime Rib! I mean, really, the whole thing is so fucking ridiculous. IMHO, Taco Bell should just switch to entirely nonmeat taco meat. Fuck it, I'll eat it. Also, what's in the other 65 percent of their taco "meat"? When I was a kid, my dad told me it was made of mealworms and plastic and that's the last time I had it. That's an effective way to get kids to puke/not eat fast food, try it today!

• NPR has an obnoxious article up about OMG BACON.

• Seriously, shut up about bacon already. It tastes good, WE KNOW. It's also the fried muscle and fat of a tortured and murdered piglet. I know, so dramatic but it's TRUE. It's annoying that NPR publishes articles like this, aren't they supposed to be a level above in reporting? When NPR starts talking about animal issues more progressively, I'll re-open my wallet to them. TAKE THAT, PLEDGE DRIVE. I say this as I open my wallet to donate but STILL, I'm pissed! I also hate when ultra-liberal news outlets play like they're Real America, they're so bad at it! It's like when John Kerry went hunting during the 2004 election. It's like, dude. I know you're sitting in your New England estate drinking a hot chocolate and reading Brecht. DON'T EVEN FRONT.

click to enlarge • Hannah Kaminsky's second vegan dessert book! - BITTERSWEET
  • BitterSweet
  • • Hannah Kaminsky's second vegan dessert book!

• Hannah Kaminsky, the wee sprite genius behind the wildly popular BitterSweet blog, is releasing a second dessert cookbook and it's gonna feature recipes for MACARONS and MERINGUES.

• These are foods vegans thought they'd have to live without but shiz is about to change, y'all! Speaking of new vegan dessert books, Babycakes owner Erin McKenna is releasing her second book soon. It's especially good if you have tons of food allergies because that bitch makes delicious magic with some weird-ass (yet very healthy!) ingredients.

• You know what they eat in Nebraska? Runzas! This recipe appears to be the bomb. Expect to see me eating these until I pass out on Saturday. What? I can't go outside, it's supposed to rain!

• D.C.-based vegan bakery Sticky Fingers will compete in Cupcake Wars on Food Network. I don't know if you remember, but the first and last time a vegan competed on the show she took home the gold! Or whatever you get when you win a Food Network show? Probably like 17 Paula Deen pork cookbooks and the entire line of Rachael Ray's middling-quality cookware? Anyway: Good luck, Sticky Fingers! Show 'em how vegans do in regards to cupcakes!

Annnnd more creepiness. In Wisconsin, 200 cows just upped and died for no apparent reason. I'm sure some of you will be enjoying them in a burger later this week, so good luck figuring out what the fuck disease you have in 5-10 years!

• Yo! A vegan book is a New York Times best seller! Crazy Sexy Diet, written by cancer-fighting vixen Kris Carr, is kicking ass and taking names all over. It's currently sold out on Amazon but when it comes back, I strongly recommend it. The number one medicine we put into our body is food and you best believe that matters whether you're kicking cancer's ass or just trying for some healthy livin' in 2011!

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Laura Beck

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