Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Cheesiest Food Songs of 2010

Posted By on Tue, Dec 28, 2010 at 5:19 PM

These eight songs aspired to be hot enough to melt our popsicle, but all they did was make us taste cheddar. Behold, our countdown of the cheesiest food-themed songs of 2010:

8. "Ms. Chocolate" by Lil Jon featuring R. Kelly and Mario

They're cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, they want a piece, etc. ― we're astonished it took the collective libido of Lil Jon and R. Kelly so many years to use the most obvious of demoralizing metaphors for black women.

7. "Food" by Krunch

The twisted paranoid vocal sample on this psychedelic trance monster is probably taken from some geek sci-fi flick we don't know, but we have a feeling this song would make those on intoxicants feel like they, too, were about to become food for an unknown zombie creature.

6. "Cinnamon" by Stone Temple Pilots

Back to rehab it was for embattled lead singer Scott Weiland, just after releasing this sappy single.

5. "Apricot Stone" by Eva Rivas

This was Armenia's entry in the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest, an annual battle with the express goal of crafting the cheesiest ditty. We never knew a fruit pit could be so important.

4. "Sweet Like Cola" by Lou Bega

Remember the "Mambo Number 5" guy? Germany bought into this edible rehash of the singer's lone 1999 hit, charting it, but we don't.

3. "Hot Tottie" by Usher featuring Jay-Z

Besides the utterly horrible rhyming (kemosabe with the title), this just conjures up images of these two pop stars in their jammies drinking brandy. And it's not sexy.

2. "Candy" by Aggro Santos featuring Kimberly Wyatt

A top 10 smash in the UK, where sonic cheese is celebrated like fine wine in France. This is the first time we might have ever found ourselves saying no to candy.

1. "Ice Cream Truck" by Cazwell

This unapologetically saucy ode to licking cones will probably be the cheesiest food-related song of the next five years.

Follow us on Twitter: @sfoodie

  • Pin It

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

About The Author

Tamara Palmer

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook

Slideshows

  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"