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Thursday, June 24, 2010

Biters, Vegan Sabotage: Just Another Day at Rainbow Grocery

Posted By on Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 6:16 PM

Us, we would've stuck our teeth into something tastier that Jack. - GORDONZOLA/FLICKR
  • gordonzola/Flickr
  • Us, we would've stuck our teeth into something tastier that Jack.
Our favorite morsel from the blogs.

The thing about Cheesemonger Gordon Edgar? The cheese buyer at Rainbow Grocery lets you live ― vicariously ― the weirdness of working at a place where, any bad shit happens, you immediately suspect a raging vegan. Seems Rainbow's cheese department has long suffered a "biter," Edgar writes on his blog, Gordonzola, someone ― once you rule out rats ― chomping into plastic-wrapped hunks of mild cheddar and Monterey Jack, leaving a dental imprint. Edgar:

We sometimes get acts of sabotage in the cheese department. We assume its vegans of course. Sample toothpicks stuck into cheese on the shelf, cheese hidden out of refrigeration, that kind of thing. We don't get too much however, because our department also takes care of the vegan "cheese' and ― if I do say so myself ― we have the best vegan "cheese" selection in the city. Besides, a vegan wouldn't bite into cheese. Though a freegan might....
Oh, Rainbow, how we love you.

As it turns out, it wasn't a protestor with a grudge, but a girl, eight or nine years old, with a kind of freaky compulsion. "I had just tossed two big pieces of Jack in the garbage from human bite marks so I was on alert," Edgar writes. "Sure enough, she went behind the big Parmigiano Reggiano display, picked up a piece of Jack, looked around, and went for the chomp." The cheesemonger made the kid find her mom; the mom made the biter apologize to everybody at the cheese counter. Situation resolved. Except ― ew ― a Jack-muffled cry for help? Or an irresistible appetite for brick cheese?

Follow us on Twitter: @SFoodie. Contact me at John.Birdsall@SFWeekly.com

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