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Monday, March 8, 2010

The Price of Coffee Went Up at Cento. Compare That to the Cost of Crack

Posted By on Mon, Mar 8, 2010 at 3:19 PM

click to enlarge Fine print for junkies. - J. BIRDSALL
  • J. Birdsall
  • Fine print for junkies.
The price of a drip coffee went up today at SOMA Blue Bottle kiosk Cento (360 Ritch at Brannan). A cup is now $2.50, up from $2. To explain, the staff posted an apology, of sorts, wrapped in a coffee = crack rationalization. Read the longer statement below. To paraphrase: You have a problem ― one that a couple of quarters ain't gonna put a dent in. The only logical conclusion? A flotilla of old mattresses in the adjoining club space at 330 Ritch, badly stained with Bella Donovan. For the use of customers only.

The Fine Print: We know it's tragic, but times are tough and the prices of things are going up across the board. Just look at how expensive crack cocaine is these days. The similarities between these two stimulants are mind boggling.

Coffee, like crack cocaine, is known to increase energy and alertness, create a loss of appetite, cause insomnia, create a feeling of extreme confidence, and a craving for more.... We know that our price hike will not get in the way of your addiction because you, like a crack fiend, cannot go one hour let alone one day without your sweet, sweet nectar. We are proud to perpetuate your problem and appreciate you being a loyal and cordial patron...

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