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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Move Over, Burger King Whopper Bar: Wendy's Strip Clubs and Other Fantasy Fast-Food Expansions

Posted By on Tue, Jan 26, 2010 at 4:58 PM

With the announcement that Burger King is readying Whopper Bar in Miami Beach, the chain's first beer-and-burger joint, we think it's time for BK's competitors to step up into the area of brand extension, too. We wonder what would happen if these ideas were floated at corporate meetings:

8. Jack in the Box Haunted Houses
Jack is a scary mother-effer, especially after dark, and if a few more spooky bits were added ― maybe worms in the fries? ― company execs could have a frightening hit on their hands.


7. Dairy Queen Drag Shows 
These sweet old softies just need a slap of lipstick and a good wig for consummate reinvention.



6. In-N-Out Sex Therapy Clinics
While driving through to get your Double-Double on, it'd sure be nice to be able to bend a compassionate, professional ear on your one-night-stand bedroom problems.

5. Sonic Dance Clubs
The heaps of sugar in Sonic's colorful drinks and desserts can crack anyone out for days, so why not throw a disco ball, a DJ, and late hours into the mix?


4. Popeye's Chicken Health Centers
He wasn't strong to the finish by eating all that fried chicken, after all.


3. McDonald's Circuses
Mickey D's has had a lot of issues with people going wild over the years, and since a clown is already the face of the company, all it would take would be three rings and maybe an elephant to make the circus official.

2. Carl's Jr. Betting Centers
The late Carl's Jr. founder Carl Karcher was a real gambler back in the day. He founded his first restaurant by wagering the title of his automobile against its future success. A bookie-staffed Carl's branch might not be as risky.


1. Wendy's Strip Clubs
The square burgers have probably already had their heyday. Maybe it's time for Wendy's to put its freckle-faced, braided redhead on the pole?

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Tamara Palmer


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