San Francisco – Taco Bell confirmed plans last week to open an “upscale Taco Bell” that serves alcohol and will appeal to a hip, urban, demographic, because those words mean nothing and we might as well just all admit that we are living pointless lives in a brutal, uncaring, universe.
“We are sure our new twists on our classic menu items will appeal to the refined palate and upscale sensibilities of the San Francisco market,” a Taco Bell spokesman said without laughing, which is really impressive when you think about it.
Experts say, however, that the very act of being a “Taco Bell spokesman” may render a human being dead inside and incapable of grasping the cynical joke that his life has become, let alone empathizing with other human beings forced to listen to these words and process them with the same audio-neural pathways with which they understand poetry and declarations of love.
