After last week's epic
Batch I must say that this week was snoozy. Same old, same old. He seems like a nice guy but damn is he dull.
Ashley is providing the most entertainment, with her slutty virgin routine. It's really hard to imagine that these are real women and not actresses. She talks to herself, galavants around in a ball gown when she's not invited on the "Cinderella" date, like some anorexic Miss Havisham with Joan Crawford brows, and has made the cardinal sin of falling in love with this guy without even really knowing him. We all know how that ends.
Wikipedia
Few people know this, but Dickens actually got the idea for Miss Havisham from The Bachelor
The only good sizzle on the episode was his one-on-one date with Jillian, the physically fit twit whose ass is constantly hanging out and therefore in need of a black censor bar.
Get this: She's obsessed with not only fitness, but herself! Is there anything more satisfying than watching chicks like her get dumped on this show? Women who are not used to being rejected by men? In fact, she is probably used to being the singular target at most parties, poolside cabanas, or yoga expos. But here's the thing, gentle viewer: Chris is deep. He's looking for more than just a pretty face, which is easy to do when you are given 30 beautiful women to choose from. Trust me, if he had met Jillian in Pigpoke Iowa amid all the homegrown bowsers he would definitely be overlooking her annoying qualities.
One nice thing did happen this week and that was that Chris' sisters chose the sweet and quite Jade for his one-on-one fantasy Cinderella date. The show is set up so that anyone with a normal personality gets sent home fairly quickly. If you aren't pushy and trying really hard you get overlooked. So I was glad to see that shy little Jade had her time in the sun. He actually seemed to like her a lot, too. Don't get me wrong, women like Jade never end up "winning" this show. The men always go for the one the most want to bang, unless they are devout Christians who are letting God show them the way and not their dicks. I predict Chris goes for someone with a big personality who really wants to jump him. Just a hunch.
Next week the normal
Batch story arc continues with a visit from the EMTs, someone crying on a gurney, and fake shocked and worried expressions from their competition. Chris will also have to pretend he cares that someone got overheated or hit by a falling boulder. He'll have to call off whatever activity is planned in honor of the fallen woman. Then she will hobble back into the main room and everyone will act glad to see her even though they were all hoping it would be "One down, ten more to go." He'll give her a rose even though he doesn't like her because he doesn't want to look like an asshole.
Every time I try to leave this show, it pulls me back in. Sigh.