Get SF Weekly Newsletters

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

What Not to Do at a Speed Dating Event

Posted By on Tue, Aug 26, 2014 at 10:00 AM

Maybe these couple met at a speed dating event? We'll never know! - SHAYNE HILL
  • Shayne Hill
  • Maybe these couple met at a speed dating event? We'll never know!

Let’s face it — dating is super awkward, especially dates with someone you haven't met in person before the aforementioned event. Whether you go out with someone you met online or someone your friend set you up with, there isn’t really any way to get past the initial sheer awkwardness — except for, you know, copious amounts of alcohol. But even if you’re hammered, you’re still stuck with the person no matter how awkward the date is, at least for as long as it takes for the check to come.

Unless, of course, you’re at a speed dating event. And then you can have 15 awkward dates for the price of one! Or, if you’re lucky, 14 awkward dates and one decent one.

We went to a speed dating event several months ago — entirely by accident. We had just spent a week-and-a-half on vacation and had arranged for our roommate to pick us up from the airport. She had told us that we would be going to a bar after she picked us up because one of her friends was throwing a party, and we assumed it would just be a handful of people hanging out at a dive bar. Therefore, we saw no issue with going to the bar wearing the same jeans, T-shirt and zip-up hoodie we had put on for our 5:30 a.m. flight that morning, (not to mention the sweat and weird airplane smell that one inevitably accumulates after spending all day on an airplane).

When we got to the bar, however, we started to think there might be an issue. The entrance to the bar was guarded by a large, engraved metal gate, and the door to the bar itself was adorned in strings of small silver lights and strands of ivy from the surrounding vines. The bar also had a patio full of well-dressed and well-groomed people classily sipping cocktails — not wearing jeans and covered in eau de airplane.

Upon entering the bar, we switched jackets with our roommate — who was wearing a cardigan and not a zip-up that hadn’t been washed in a week and a half — in the hopes that it may make us blend in a little more. Within minutes, we were approached by the host of the event, who put a $12 cocktail in our hands and began introducing us to a plethora of well-dressed guys in their 20s, much to our bewilderment, until we realized where we actually were. That's right — our roommate had brought us to a speed dating event without our knowledge.

Fifteen minutes into our third “date” we started announcing that we were about to pass out from hunger (as we hadn’t eaten anything that day except for a cookie and a package of airplane peanuts). We left the bar to get Thai food, and our third date tagged along, but once we were properly fed, we started complaining about how tired and jet-lagged we were, and started snapping at aforementioned third date, to which he seemed slightly offended. Then we went home and slept for 12 hours.

Moral of the story: If you’re going to attend a speed-dating session, don't make it a blind-date type of event; prepare yourself, and any friends you're going to drag bring along, and be ready for a bunch of five-minute dates — maybe Mr./Miss third date will lead to another date outside of the event. You never know.

  • Pin It

About The Author

Jessica Nemire


Comments are closed.

Popular Stories

  1. Most Popular Stories
  2. Stories You Missed

Like us on Facebook


  • clipping at Brava Theater Sept. 11
    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"