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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

The Love Architect Wants to Look into Your Eyes: Women Over 5'9'' Need Not Apply

Posted By on Wed, Aug 13, 2014 at 2:32 PM

click to enlarge KAILEN ROSENBERG
  • Kailen Rosenberg
Kailen Rosenberg is the president of a massively successful business, a published author, a former model, and a certified life coach. She is also a TV star and philanthropist. She is friends with Oprah. And, unfortunately, Kailen Rosenberg is not on the market. But a mysterious millionaire is.

After 20 years of connecting over 600 couples, Rosenberg has undertaken a nationwide search to find the soul mate of one client. They are looking for you, and they are starting in San Francisco.

We spoke to Kailen about making our dreams come true, or at least making the dreams of a mysterious millionaire come true.

Did you always know you were meant to do this?

Actually I had no clue that I would be matching people together, but I did know from a very young age that I wanted to do something that had to do with teaching people how to love one another. I ended up starting a small image consulting business in my early 20s which sounds very superficial — people were coming to me to help transform their outer image but what I did was dive right into their inner being and the reasons they didn't feel beautiful.

And that business took off?

I got to know these people on such a deep level that when two happened to be single, just as you would with two of your best friends who you love, I started to put them together. The next thing I knew they were getting married and using the word "soul mate." Out of the blue I ended up having this author from Minnesota Monthly, our largest magazine in Minnesota, feature me on the cover of the darn magazine. After that my business, The Love Architects, catapulted, and it's been over 20 years.

What are your methods like?

It's different than anything other dating service out there. We're living, as you can see, with all the war and all the crap going on, in a really broken world. And my belief is that our world is broken because as people we're broken. That has to do with how well we were loved, and how well we love and know ourselves. If we don't love ourselves we can't love on each other in a genuine way. People I work with all tell me after about 45 minutes that its one of the heaviest therapy sessions they've ever had. My job is to really dive into the true spiritual core of who every human being is.

What do you consider your mission?

It's not only a job but an honor and obligation to be putting people in each other's lives because it effects our society. My heart's hope is to bring the divorce rate down, see more soul-mates truly connect, and to see happier healthier people and fewer broken homes. It's almost more that I'm matching people with themselves than introducing them to someone else, which in the end happens as well, which is nice, but to me it's the cherry on top. Seeing my clients finally fall in love with themselves and meet themselves and be happier than they've ever been in their life—that to me is success.

Do you only work with heterosexual couples?

I've never had anyone come to me who is gay, but if their heart wants to find their true love and really be in a beautiful, healthy relationship then amen, I'm all over that.

Who is this mysterious "male client"?

He's a man in his 50s. He happens to come from a lot of... something that I don't want to exploit, but at the same time I also want people to know he's also a very deep spiritual soul. He drives a Prius, and lives in a very modest home and he has millions to spend but he does that to improve other countries and protect our land — that's our guy. He has a son, and he's open to realizing and understanding that his soul mate could be his age or even older, however part of him would really love to have another child. So if there's even a single mom or even a woman who is in her early 40s or 30s who has never had one — but it has to be someone who's really grounded, social spiritual, loves to heal and give back.

How is the search going so far?

We've already had quite a few really lovely women respond. We'll be receiving as many responses as we can through the end of August, and right after Labor Day I'm flying to San Francisco for 3 or 4 days and meeting everyone. I want to look into their eyes and talk to them and see who they really are. And if I really feel a neat connection with one or some of these women then I'll have them meet him if they want to.

Don't you think there might be any risk that their relationship will have an unequal power differential?

No. No, that's just not who he is. He's very simple and very much a giver and loves to share what he has. I think that some of the things we should stress, there are some physical requirements—shorter than 5'9'' because he's not a big guy, just so she's comfortable and he's comfortable, even though that sounds superficial, we have a little of that in our world. Petite, and again wanting to have a first baby or another baby. But just a woman who knows herself, who is grounded in life and ready to love.

Why did you decide to start in San Francisco?

He felt that the Bay Area has women who are well educated, sophisticated, but also very down to earth and spiritual, just a beautiful blend of women. We're just going to stay with SF for now and see if that soul mate and connection works out here, and if we come up dry we'll go to Vancouver, and then city by city.

Can you offer Bay Area people looking for love some advice?

Yes! In no certain order:

Never, ever, ever, ever settle. Our heart and soul knows and feels intuitively when were settling. I don't mean "ego" settling, I mean when we know we're not at peace in the relationship, when we're not able to be our true and full selves with that person—don't go there! Learn what you can from that but don't stay in it.

Check in with your true readiness for love—just because you're single, just because you feel lonely doesn't mean you're ready. Readiness means—you are truly open and available for love.

Really be available. So many people have these pre-conceived notions about exactly how and where they're supposed to be their soul-mates. No, knock that off. It literally could be the person sitting next to you when you're reading this blog. People have a tendency not to look each other in the eyes when they're walking past each other, they look to the side and look down. Stop that, let's start connecting with each other let's start putting love out there.

Last one: all the stupid rules about a first date: never talk about politics, never talk about religion or spirituality, never talk about wanting to get married and have kids—I think that's crap. Throw it all on the table because at least you're being authentic and the person you're meant to be with will totally be in love with it and in love with you and get it and dig it and it will be fine. If you scare someone away they weren't the right one anyway.

What's your take on online matchmaking services and apps like Tinder and OkCupid?

Here's the deal: the systems aren't broken, the people are broken. If you're wholeheartedly looking for love but you're connecting with people who are there to basically mislead you, that's heartbreaking and a waste of time. But that happens because people are disconnected from themselves and their egos are too in control and they're stuck and afraid, and then you've got a mismatch of people trying to find each other. So again I think online is brilliant, an incredible way to meet each other if people showed up authentically and healthy and ready for a relationship.

Kailen Rosenberg's book Real Love, Right Now is widely available. Those interested in the search for love can apply through the end of August. 
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Jenny Singer


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