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Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Bachelor, Juan Pablo, Episode Siete: He Loves a Good Cry

Posted By on Tue, Feb 18, 2014 at 1:30 PM

Juan Boner - ABC
  • ABC
  • Juan Boner

Who kisses more women than John Mayer and cries more than John Boehner? Yes that's right, it's El Bachelor, Juan Pablo. He weeps every time it's time to say adios to a chica que buena, and since we are nearing the end of this rainbow (next week are the hometown dates!) he better have a whole box of tissue at the ready.

I haven't brought up Reality Steve's predictions for the outcome of this show since my first blog, but it's time to revisit. This week Sharleen split, which is what Steve said would happen. Her yoni was saying "yes" but her mind was saying "no," and in the real world we know that she would keep someone like Juan Pablo around for mind-blowing sex, all the while waiting for her cerebral soulmate to appear. But this was not the real world, and she is too genuine. There was no freaking way she was going to take him to meet her family, and really no freaking way she was going to get engaged to him. I mean, he probably thinks Verdi is a shade of green in a J Crew catalog.

Bring it, bitch - ABC
  • ABC
  • Bring it, bitch

I have to take issue with something that Reality Steve said though, and that is that Nikki is the "house bitch." Oh no, gentle reader. I think the house bitch is actually Clair. She's a phony and a schemer. She's really, really good at what she does so it's hard to detect, but it's there. Nikki is a zero-bullshit person, and she can smell Clair's B.S. a mile away.

Oh, it's on - ABC
  • ABC
  • Oh, it's on
Part of their animosity -- which reached a boiling point this week in Miami, resulting in a terrific display of passive aggressive anger masked as discussion -- is due to the fact that they both know they are going to be in the final three and it's neck-and-neck. And how about that teaser for the end of the season, showing Andi saying that as soon as she woke up in the Fantasy Suite she wanted to bolt. Wow. Something disgusted her on that enchanted evening, and the mind boggles as to what that was. Not even Reality Steve seems to know.

Whoa.

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Katy St. Clair

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