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Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Five Trends that Need to Die in 2013

Posted By on Wed, Dec 26, 2012 at 9:30 AM


Ah, the end of the year. The holidays, the hustle, the bustle, the family gatherings -- and soon enough the ball will drop and then it's time for those pesky new year's resolutions. Most of us will resolve to exercise more, eat less, or quit smoking (really, you still haven't quit smoking?). But today at the Exhibitionist, we would like to recommend a few more things we can all do less in the coming year for the benefit of collective humanity.

See also:

Words That Need to Be Retired in 2013

Black Friday: SF Weekly Takes Masochism to a New Level, Spends 24 Hours at Walmart

5. Gangnam Style

I get it. The tune is catchy and I'll make an exception for the little kid who shows up at 21 seconds, but this dance craze needs to go. Not only is it incredibly bad dancing, but I feel racist just watching it. The first time a dancer from Korea goes big here he's wearing a dorky suit and sticking his butt out while hopping up and down? Seriously? An unscientific survey of my Asian roommates and friends agree: time to change the channel. Korea produces some of the best street dancers in the world, so instead of reposting Gangnam style, check out this video of b-boys at the DMZ, hit up the R16 festival, or spend some time on Popping J's YouTube page.

4. Facebook Groups/LinkedIn Reminders

Humans crave attention, and there's almost no better way to feel loved online than logging in to Facebook and seeing all those little red reminders at the top of the page. But all too often this year, those reminders were just notifications that so-and-so posted in All Pointless Groups on Facebook. A moratorium is in order. We want to log in and know that our notifications mean something noteworthy happened. Not that Horace posted in My Birthday Bowling Extravaganza at Denny's! And while we're on the subject, can we just get rid of LinkedIn all together? We don't need another social networking tool, and if we did, it would be Google Plus. You can remind me that Fred Derf sent an invitation to join LinkedIn all you want, I'm still not joining.

3. Overuse and misuse of the word "literally"

This one was, literally, inspired by my editor. As in, she had the idea and that inspired me to add it to the list. That's how "literally" works. If your head is "literally about to explode," everyday, or you're "literally falling to pieces," all week, the rest of us are going to start, literally, ignoring you. Give it a rest people.


2. Walking across America to prove ... everything

This has been done for blogs, done for tweets, done for fundraisers, and done by a random shopping cart girl with lots of time on her hands. Yes, we get it, it's a long way and there are hills. But whatever zaniness was there at first has been drained and dried. Unless you want to walk on your hands, or backwards, come up with something else to land that book deal. Please.

1. Prop 8 and its ilk

I know it isn't really fair to lump things like BASIC CIVIL RIGHTS in with Gangnam style and Facebook, but in 2013 the Supreme Court might finally put this issue to bed (figuratively!). Let's just hope the rest of the court has more sense than Justice Antonin Scalia, who recently quipped "If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder?" Just in case Scalia is reading this, I'll keep it simple. Homosexuality and murder are incomparable because one harms another human being and the other one doesn't. If I go murder someone that's wrong because I infringed on their right to live -- but if I go make out with someone of my same gender everyone else can still go about their business. This isn't the 1950s or Liberia. It's almost 2013 and anybody who thinks homosexuality and murder are even on the same page needs to make like an 8-track and be forgotten.

And on that thrilling note, Happy New Year!

For events in San Francisco this week and beyond, check out our calendar section. Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF and like us on Facebook.
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Devin Holt


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