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Thursday, August 9, 2012

K-Town Episode 5: Korean Speed Dating and SCARLET SMASH!

Posted By on Thu, Aug 9, 2012 at 10:48 AM


As much as I love K-Town, I must quibble with the show's refusal to coherently tie up loose ends. In Episode 5, there's no mention of Young's lapdance imbroglio, though, I'll let it slide because it opens with some of his own impromptu dancing while Prince Jowe impressively beat-boxes Wu-Tang Clan's "Ain't Nuthing Ta F' Wit."

Apparently Young's future father-in-law won't give his blessing for his marriage to So Young until Young gives up his dance dreams and gets a normal job. I wonder if So Young's dad literally said, "Give up your dreams" and if he did, that's completely unsurprising. If you think High Expectations Asian Father is hard to please, High Expectations Asian Father-in-Law is doubly worse because he knows you're sleeping with his daughter.

Speaking of elder family men, according to this K-Town fan blog, Prince Jowe is the nephew of Joe Cha. This begs only one question:


Prince Jowe is a fully formed adult being, so for him to be the offspring of one of Joe's siblings means that either, 1) Joe's parents are an extremely fertile and spry older couple who had him late or 2) Joe is 48 years old and has his Retinol game on lock.

And in this episode, Joe certainly channels his stern inner ajusshi ("older Korean man") by haranguing his friends to help him promote his upcoming club event. Dude, get some interns. If the event is that critical, why entrust such responsibility to Steve, whom Joe already predicts will be too intoxicated to fulfill his tasks? Is this how they organized parties back in the mid-'80s?

Young is ready to shirk his club promotion responsibilities in order to practice for a dance audition, which he hopes will prove to his future father-in-law that he can be successful without killing his own spirit. However, the group cajoles him into going out and they end up at Vibe, a booking club where Violet tends bar.

For those unfamiliar with booking clubs, check out one female writer's exploration of the scene which has carried over to Koreatowns from the motherland. In a nutshell, men pay for a table at these clubs as well as for bottles of booze. Their assigned waiter plays matchmaker and brings ladies to sit down, drink for free from the men's liquor stash, and chat (or flee) as they please.

In an even tinier nutshell: These booking dudes just hemorrhage money.

While Violet refers to booking as "Korean speed dating." Scarlet says, "Booking is for guys with no game and for hoodrat, FOB-y Korean girls." Yet, Jasmine convinces Scarlet to come with her to Vibe. Ever so genteel, Scarlet spots some women she considers to be fat and says they would be referred to as pork chops in Cantonese. Jasmine says that she refers to big women as "mandoos" (dumplings) because they are round.

Such sweetie pies. It's no wonder that a waiter taps them to be "booked" at a table with two men who seem nice if not a bit overeager and nervous by the presence of the camera. In short, they are about to be annihilated. In her interview, Scarlet declares, "My mouth is not gonna be on your penis ever."

The ladies drink their free booze and take off, interrupting the booking session taking place in a private room with Steve, Uncle Joe, Prince Jowe, and Young. Scarlet gives their booked ladies the boot whilst yelling "Ugly bitches outttttttt ... " and Steve randomly declares that their outing has turned into Young's bachelor party, which Young immediately deems bullshit and insincere. This is why Young is my favorite.

A party montage follows shortly thereafter, but like all nights in K-Town, somebody needs to give Scarlet a reason to hulk out. Prince Jowe and Jasmine have a heated conversation in which he bashes the very village that hath bestowed his royal title upon him (L.A.'s Koreatown). As a local, Jasmine takes offense and Scarlet jumps in to defend her, yelling, "He's from Bakersfield, get the fuck out of here!"

Ouch. The geographical diss. It's like chatting someone up at a bar in the Mission and suddenly finding yourself disinterested when you hear they drove up from Gilroy. There's no reason to discriminate, you just do it. We are all weak creatures.

Anyway, Jowe counters Scarlet's insult by calling her ugly. Similar to last week's nuclear meltdown when Jowe said she wasn't his type, this dig set's Scarlet off: "Who's ugly?! Who the fuck is ugly, bitch?! I'm ugly?!" Which is so amusing because she's been calling strangers fat, ugly, and utterly unfuckable all night. There are times when the real issue at hand is so very transparent and this is one of those moments. Sigh.

Scarlet tells Jowe to go back to Bakersfield and Jowe tells her to go to back to Chinatown, causing her to charge at the door, closing out the episode. How will things transpire next week? Two words: SCARLET SMASH.

K-Town airs every Wednesday on YouTube's Loud channel.

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Sylvie Kim


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