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Friday, July 27, 2012

S.F. Library's New Privacy Screens Help You Watch Porn More Discretely

Posted By on Fri, Jul 27, 2012 at 10:30 AM

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The San Francisco Library recently added new privacy screens to 18 of the computers at their main branch.

The screens are designed to help keep your viewing private from people who are passing by or sitting next to you. Which wouldn't be a big issue if you were researching the topic of your next term paper, checking your e-mail, or reading book reviews. Alas, we can't help but think the real purpose for protecting your screen is to make sure no one sees you watching videos of people bumpin' uglies.

City Librarian Luis Herrera told KTVU news the screens are an alternative to a filtering system, and that, "We're always looking for any kind of elegant solution that strikes a balance between the right to privacy and folks that want to use the library for any other intended purpose."

Personally, we are outraged by the library's decision to encourage this vulgar behavior in public spaces. That's why we are announcing right now the start of our own neighborhood watch-like group for the library called, The Boner Patrol. Our mission is simple: Find the boners and eliminate them. We don't care what it takes. We will track down any suspicious-looking characters and rain down on them harder than Chick Fil-A does the gays.

So, who's with us?!

For more events in San Francisco this week and beyond, check out our calendar section. Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF and like us on Facebook.
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About The Author

Matt Saincome

Matt Saincome

Bio:
Matt Saincome is SF Weekly's former music editor.

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