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Thursday, July 19, 2012

Cock-Blocked by John McCain: Talkin' with Meghan McCain and Michael Ian Black

Posted By on Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 3:14 PM

Page 2 of 2

McCain: It makes dating impossible. Impossible. Men just start freaking out and start imagining Secret Service.

SFW: Your dad has no fear. He's a maverick! I would be horrified.

McCain: (laughs) I know! He told my prom date that if anything happened to me it wouldn't compare to the pain of being tortured.

(Everyone laughs)

McCain: Annnnd I was brought back at midnight, right on time. And I remember specifically I got a burrito and I went to bed, that was my prom night. So well done, dad, you scared the shit out of him. So yeah, pretty smart move if you are trying to scare an 18-year-old guy. You know?

SFW: I've been tortured, buddy, I'm not afraid of you, you bring her home on time.

McCain: (imitating her dad's stern voice) "It wouldn't compare if something happened to my daughter." And I was like, "What did he say?" because I didn't hear it, since he only told my date. And he was like (now imitating her deflated and intimidated date) "He told me ..."

(Everyone laughs)

SFW: So Michael, as a comedian, how does it feel to break into the world of political commentary more than you have before?

Black: I'm surprised how easy it is. People are like, "What's your opinion about politics?" now.

McCain: (laughs) Shut up! I'm breaking into comedy next.

Black: You've already broken into comedy. It's easy breaking into politics. You just write a book about politics and suddenly people are like, "Oh, he's a political analyst." I don't know shit about anything!

SFW: I thought your tugboat tweet was pretty good.

Black: Thanks, I felt pretty good about that one.

McCain: What tugboat tweet?

Black: I said, "If corporations are people then so are tugboats, because who operates tugboats? People, my friend."

(McCain sits quietly, looking unamused as Black snickers to himself.)

SFW: #TugboatsArePeople

(Everyone laughs)

McCain: You're so dumb.

Black: I am not DUMB!

McCain: That's dumb.

Black: (loudly over McCain) If you want to debate with me whether or not tugboats are people -- I will have that argument with you!

McCain: His twitter is unbelievably popular too. You know how popular his Twitter feed is, right?

SFW: Someone once said to me, "Hey man, you gotta get on Twitter. You gotta follow Michael Ian Black." That's how I got on Twitter.

Black: Ooh, I like that. I should get a kickback.

McCain: Really? Originally? Not Meghan McCain and her funny anecdotes?

SFW: No, but I have been reading your blog all day in preparation for this interview.

McCain: What did you think?

SFW: It's great. I like how you have "life" and "politics" separated by tabs on the top.

McCain: (laughs) Thanks!

SFW: So you get attacked pretty viciously by --

Black: Everybody.

SFW: Yeah, everybody. But you love the Republican Party, and you say that, and you say that you are trying to help the Republican Party. But they attack you pretty aggressively sometimes. How does that make you feel?

McCain: You know it's always really right-wing pundits that I get attacked by the most. It's like Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Ann Coulter, these sort of predictable people. When it first started happening I was really young, like 23 or 24, which is a really young age to have you physical appearance attacked in the national media. But, you know, I'm a really tough bitch. And if I couldn't handle it, I would go into a different industry. And it's terrible and it's not fun. But I don't worry about me, because I can handle it. I worry about my sister, and other young women, that see how women are treated when they want to have a voice. You are sort of told as a woman -- no matter who you are, Hilary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Sarah Palin, just pick any women in politics -- you're a slut, you're a whore, or you're dumb.

SFW: According to Rush Limbaugh.

McCain: Yeah, well, Rush Limbaugh is a moron. But, that's the only thing I worry about -- the climate we are creating for young women.

SFW: The cover of your book got me thinking, if you guys were going to run as a bipartisan ticket for the White House, who would be running as the vice president?

Black: Ooo, me! I would be the vice president.

McCain: Yeah, duh.

SFW: That was quick.

Black: Well first of all, I don't want to work hard. I shrink in the face of conflict. I'm not going to stand up to any foreign countries. If they want something and threaten me at all I'm going to be like "Yeah, do whatever you want."

McCain: He would be like my Joe Biden. I would just send him out to make funny comments and entertain people.

Black: "Great to be here at the NAACP, what's up y'all?" I could do that!

SFW: You would be like a better-trained Joe Biden, because you are actually a comedian.

Black: Yeah! I'd be great.

McCain: Yeah, and you'd be like, what did he say to Obama? "It's a big fucking deal."

Black: "It's a big fucking deal." When he passed Obamacare.

McCain: Yeah you could say that to me every day for everything I did.

Black: Madam President, it's a big fucking deal.

McCain: I'm clearly the candidate, out of the two of us.

Black: Oh yeah.

SFW: Well, you've got the name for it.

McCain: Even though I don't want to run for office.

SFW: Okay, last question. Who was the most interesting character you guys met while on the road?

Black: Well, we didn't meet Chicken Willy.

McCain: (laughs)

SFW: Who?

McCain: (while having a laughing fit) Chicken Willy!

Black: We drove by Chicken Willy.

McCain: Chicken Willy is this man, who is our bus driver's neighbor, who had cockfighting in his yard.

Black: He raised cockfighting roosters in his front yard. And he had like 50 cages in his front yard.

McCain: And we just passed by and saw all these chickens all over his yard.

Black: And he was just coming out of his truck, right?

McCain: (laughs) Yeah!

Black: And cousin John, who was driving our RV, was like, "Do you want to meet Chicken Willy? Do you want to meet Chicken Willy?" But I was too scared to meet Chicken Willy. So I would say I was most intrigued by Chicken Willy -- but I was too scared to meet him.

McCain: There were so many different people, but politically who made the most impact was Dennis Kucinich. Just from talking to him during the trip. Just a few weeks ago he actually sent me a personal, handwritten thank-you letter for all the nice things I said about him in the book and then defending him later on. And on a personal level, I didn't think I would have such an affinity and personal affection for a Democratic congressman!

Black: Incidentally he didn't send me anything.

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Matt Saincome

Matt Saincome

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Matt Saincome is SF Weekly's former music editor.

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