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Thursday, July 12, 2012

Shadow Play: BDSM and Conscious Sensuality Workshop

Posted By on Thu, Jul 12, 2012 at 10:26 AM

Sabrina Morgan & Monique Darling
  • Sabrina Morgan & Monique Darling

On Monday night, I took a class at Good Vibrations called "Shadow Play: BDSM and Conscious Sensuality" with Sabrina Morgan and Monique Darling. I started my journey into BDSM as a sub, because that was how I felt more comfortable, but I have an extremely dominant personality in my everyday life, so I've been wondering how to merge the two.

Sabrina Morgan and Monique Darling are two sex educators that I have met along my sex-positive travels. Ms. Darling is more versed in cuddle parties and tantra, while Ms. Morgan is much more experienced in BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism) play. Together they put on an amazing show.

I took the class with about 11 other people. In case you didn't know, Good Vibes isn't just a place to buy sex toys; it's a place to get an education. The 12 of us piled into a room, all of us strangers, and shy. The first part of the class involved getting to know our other classmates by playing a fun game with blindfolds. Before the class began, they asked us our boundaries on being touched. They made sure everyone was comfortable before moving forward.

After this exercise, the class was much more inclined to share and be open. We then had to partner up with a classmate, and each of us took a turn being a top or a bottom. I partnered with a woman, who wanted to be the bottom first.

I asked her if I could blindfold her and where I could and could not touch her. Once we got the ground rules down and the exercise began, I found that my head space changed entirely. I began to touch her with my hands and ran my fingers up and down her arm. I watched how her body responded to a light touch, a soft touch, and ultimately firmer smacks to her body. I had her lie down and stand up, and she never knew where, when, and how hard I would touch her.

I loved watching her shiver, smile, and breathe. It was such a different experience than when you are the one experiencing the touch. I liked it a lot, and I grew to love it more and more with the different responses I would get from her. Then we had to switch, and it was my turn to be the bottom. She blindfolded me, and I told her I liked being manipulated like a doll. Since my partner was quite a bit taller than me, it felt as if we were dancing at times, the way she would scoop me up and drag me around this small space.

Sabrina Morgan & Monique Darling
  • Sabrina Morgan & Monique Darling

By the end of it we were all friends. We were asking questions and realizing more about ourselves than when we first walked in. One woman said she was there because she had read Fifty Shades of Grey, a book which seems to be awakening desire from people who never realized it was there, or were just too embarrassed to admit it out loud.

People always ask me how I learned as much as I did about sex. The truth is, I devoted a year of my life to every sexual question, fantasy, and desire I had. I did it publicly by writing a blog and shared it with the world, but that is not for everyone. Most people enjoy their privacy when it comes to sex, but if you are feeling brave, take a class. Classes are a great way to not only learn about yourself, but see how many others like you are out there. Check out Good Vibes' event page if you want to know more. 

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Vanessa L. Pinto (aka Fleur De Lis SF) documented a year of her sex life on her blog Whatever You Desire. She also blogs for the Huffington Post and is a contributing writer with Whore! Magazine. She has a degree in political science from Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.

For more events in San Francisco this week and beyond, check out our calendar section. Follow us on Twitter at @ExhibitionistSF and like us on Facebook.
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Vanessa L. Pinto

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