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Friday, June 15, 2012

This Father's Day, Give the Gift of Penis Poetry

Posted By on Fri, Jun 15, 2012 at 11:30 AM

Father's Day is this Sunday! Do your dad a favor this year and skip the cornflower blue tie or Sears gift certificate, and get him a gift that will truly arouse his appreciation.

We're talking, of course, about a poetry calendar inspired by penis enlargement and erectile dysfunction spam. Created by our freelancer Beth Winegarner, The Lengths You Go To: Poems From Penis Spam 2013 Calendar will remind your dad to "empower [his] fleshy thing" and that every day should be a "ceiling-breaking bone-on" day.

Here is a sample poem -- to get you in the mood.

Violate all Her Holes
Intimacy-improving tonic:
get hose growth every day.
When your hose has enough power
to work for hours, every babe
wants you.
Get better in making it with her.
Violate all her holes.

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About The Author

Matt Saincome

Matt Saincome

Matt Saincome is SF Weekly's former music editor.


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