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Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Hazards of Late-Night Texting -- From Your Conjugal Bed

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2012 at 7:30 AM

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My girlfriend got pissed at me recently for texting another girl at 11:30 at night when we were in bed. She said it was inappropriate to text that late because it sent a message that I wanted to sleep with her. The text itself was correcting a typo I'd sent earlier, in other words, no big swig. Is my girlfriend being weird and possessive or should I apologize?


I think your girlfriend is being weird and possessive, personally, but I don't know your relationship with this other girl. I also think the jealousy had less to do with how late you were texting and everything to do with the person you were texting. For the record, however, in no way could correcting an earlier text typo be misinterpreted as, "Please come do me in the butt," unless you are some kind of sexting Jedi or something, or this girl has an Oxford comma fetish that you are cruelly exploiting for your titillation and/or amusement.

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There is a kind of unspoken sanctity bubble around conjugal beds, and I can see how your girlfriend might be miffed for disrupting that perceived sacred space. But at worst, your behavior should have solicited an eye roll or pertinent glare, not a lecture questioning your fidelity. Unless you were about to get it on, and you stopped to text this other girl, then you deserve your verbal comeuppance. But if you were just, like, hanging out, which seems to be the case, then it is, as you say, no big swig. Without all the details, however, I'm partial to side with you, so good work, Team You!

While we're on the subject, however, let's discuss whether late-night texting is a phone-pas or not. A caveat: This is San Francisco, land of people who stay out all night. Even the Elks Lodge brunches don't start until 9 p.m. here. So I'm not sure how well these rules apply to people who exist outside our vampiric metropolis. But, here we go.

Weekend nights are fair game for texting well into the night and early morning. Boozy texts have replaced the drunk dial, and I for one am grateful. Without them, we'd never have Texts from Last Night gems like this: "so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog."

If it's a really good friend, no restrictions can be placed on that person's textual whims. Anytime texts come with the territory of BFF-dom, like it or not. 

If it's an acquaintance or if you know that person gets cranky easily, then don't text after 10 p.m.

If it's a booty call and the receiver is nonresponsive after one text, don't text again. It's not cute. It's sad.

What do y'all think?


Social-media mistress Anna Pulley likes to give advice about how to play well with others on the internets. If you have a question about etiquette involving technology, shoot her a question at AskAnnaSF@gmail.com. 

Follow us on Twitter: @annapulley and @ExhibitionistSF or Facebook

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