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Monday, February 6, 2012

Spike TV Brings Us Ink Master: A Tattoo Travesty

Posted By on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 12:00 PM

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A friend of mine was recently getting some work done in one of San Francisco's most respected tattoo shops, Skull & Sword, when the conversation turned to new Spike TV reality competition show, Ink Master. In case you've missed this slice of Truly Awful Television, it is basically America's Next Model for tattoo artists. But instead of Tyra Banks standing around looking stern every week, we get the first tattooed guy the producers could think of (probably because he and his ex-wife Carmen Electra had a reality T.V. show of their own a few years back), Dave Navarro. Dave Navarro -- in case you're not familiar -- has played guitar in Jane's Addiction and the Red Hot Chili Peppers and, very importantly, has some of the dodgiest tattoos in living memory.


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Steinhart Aquarium Staff Braved Dangers Off the Philippines to Get 250 New Species

Posted By on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 10:30 AM

This coconut octopus has grown about five times its size since it was brought to the Steinhart Aquarium.
  • This coconut octopus has grown about five times its size since it was brought to the Steinhart Aquarium.

Cultural institutions in San Francisco continually search for new acquisitions. Alexis Coe brings you the most important, often wondrous, sometimes bizarre, and occasionally downright vexing finds each week.

Where do aquariums get their fish? If you've given it any thought at all, you may imagine, as I did, that they primarily stock their tanks with purchases from some kind of special purveyor of exotic fish. While that is usually the case, the reality at the Academy of Sciences' Steinhart Aquarium is a whole lot cooler. Bart Shepherd, the director of the aquarium, along with academy botanists, entomologists, and marine biologists, braved various subaquatic dangers during an expedition to the Philippines, including leeches and whip-scorpions. The research they conducted resulted in the discovery of almost 300 species that are probably new to science, most of which are currently on display.

The centerpiece of the exhibition is the large Philippine coral reef tank, which contains 2,500 fish and 700 colonies of coral; they represent 150 species of fish and 100 species of coral. Finding species that were otherwise unobtainable was not the academy's only goal, but rather a long-term effort toward conservation through husbandry. Nary a piece of coral was purchased for the tank.

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The Sweet Spot: I Am the Emasculator

Posted By on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 9:30 AM

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I am known among my friends as The Emasculator. According to them, the man who takes me on must have balls of steel and a very elastic ego. I will admit that I like to argue, know how to change a tire, and have never been known to simper. If I am not moved or impressed, I have a habit of making it known. But though I get an odd satisfaction out of this reputation, I also find it ridiculous.

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It is an assumed understanding in our culture that men can be emasculated -- that we as women should be concerned with catering to the male ego, and that masculinity is something so fragile that it can be offended. Even simple things like having a man carry your purse in public is seen by many to be a delicate negotiation.

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5 Hilarious Images of Social Media From Free Jehovah's Witness Magazine

Posted By on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 7:00 AM

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Your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from Golden State thrift stores, estate sales, and flea markets handed to him at the train station.

Awake! magazine

Date: February, 2012
Publisher: Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania
Questions This Cover Raises: "What Should You Know About Social Networking?" and, in tiny type at the bottom, "How Should We Pray to God?" Ping Him!

A chipper little magazine that at first seems to be about what a joy it is not to be asleep, Awake! is the fun younger sister to the dour old maid that is The Watchtower, which claims to be the world's most widely read magazine thanks to the seven million or so Jehovah's Witnesses who go door to door gathering subscribers. The distribution system is like Grit's or Girl Scout Cookies or the fundraisers my high school ran to pay for proms, except instead of prizes or a DJ your reward for moving magazines is not going to hell.

They also give out Awake!, which I guess is meant to make the faith seem more cheerful than what The Watchtower does. Compare the current covers:

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Downton Abbey Recap: Season 2, Episode 5

Posted By on Mon, Feb 6, 2012 at 4:00 AM

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Welcome back to Downton Abbey, where we are no longer at war! Well, kind of. World War One is over, but the shit is still on at Downton. The soapiness increased roughly a thousandfold, as we saw the return of the heir who drowned on the Titanic (Or did he? Or did we?), and the theft of Mr. Carson by Sir Richard Carlisle; meanwhile, Ethel's baby was so hungry he ate a stick, and Lord Grantham was so put out by having to spend one lunch alone that he flirted with a maid. Let's break it down.

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    Sub Pop recording artists 'clipping.' brought their brand of noise-driven experimental hip hop to the closing night of 2016's San Francisco Electronic Music Fest this past Sunday. The packed Brava Theater hosted an initially seated crowd that ended the night jumping and dancing against the front of the stage. The trio performed a set focused on their recently released Sci-Fi Horror concept album, 'Splendor & Misery', then delved into their dancier and more aggressive back catalogue, and recent single 'Wriggle'. Opening performances included local experimental electronic duo 'Tujurikkuja' and computer music artist 'Madalyn Merkey.'"