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Thursday, January 19, 2012

So You're Famous and You're Single -- It's Still OK to Date Online

Posted By on Thu, Jan 19, 2012 at 8:30 AM

I'm recently single. Given that I run a pretty successful website and I've got a pretty recognizable face around town, does it make sense for me to do online dating? It seems like that's what people are doing these days. I haven't been single in five years! Last time I was single there was none of this texting shit. I'm having trouble explaining why I feel it would be weird. Maybe because I like to keep my online personal life and online professional life separate, thus doing the online dating thing would take some of the "mystery" away. Also, I don't wanna lose fans if they get butt hurt by me not wanting to go on a date with them. I have totally been going out with random girls from Twitter and some FB fans though. You're the expert. Should I do it? 

It's true that all the cool kids are doing online dating. And by "cool kids," I mean Sinead O'Connor. But if everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that too? Actually, that's the same thing as dating, so never mind. 

You do face an unusual challenge, but I think you should give it a shot. I get that you're worried about potentially alienating fans, but unless you're an absolute douche-mower, the odds of that happening are probably slim. Also, Internet dating isn't some lifelong commitment,

like Words With Friends games. If you try it out and it ends up not being your cup of lube, then you can always quit and go back to more traditional ways of hooking up with people. Easy sleazy. 

You might find you hate online dating for reasons unrelated to your current concerns. As a totally nonfamous yet seasoned OkCupider, I can say it's not a bad way to meet people. I also believe everyone should experience the bizarre purgatory that is online dating at some point in their lives. But I realize that not everyone is a masochist. Wait, this is San Francisco. Never mind again. Current stats on the topic vary, but back in 2005, Pew Research found that 1 in 8 married couples met online. puts the number at 1 in 6. So, you know, someone's gotta be making it work. 

Not that you asked, but I would refrain from talking about your pseudo-celeb status in your profile, should you choose to create one. One, because it'll make you come off as a braggart. Two, I think you're right that an element of mystery should be cultivated. And three, it may attract the kind of people who'd famewhore you. (I'm totally single, by the way.)

Don't lie about it if someone asks you outright, but keep a low-pro otherwise. Make vague or tangential references to what you do, and don't under any circumstances link to any websites, tumblrs, or blogs you may have floating about. 

You've dated people you met through Facebook and Twitter, so you're practically online dating already, just with slightly different character limits. Don't let online dating stop you from exploring other avenues either. As I've discussed (I totally spelled that dicsucced because I have dysexlia, aka a term I invented to describe the weird tendency of making nonsexual

words into pervy ones unintentionally)... Anyway. As I've disCUSSED before, Twitter has a lot of untapped potential in its ability to get you laid

P.S. if you need a refresher, here's my how-to on getting better messages.


mistress Anna Pulley likes to give advice about how to play well with

others on the internets. If you have a question about etiquette

involving technology, shoot her a question at 

Follow us on Twitter: @annapulley and @ExhibitionistSF or Facebook

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Anna Pulley


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